Veronica Mars (TV Series)

Show Me the Monkey (2007)

Ryan Hansen: Dick Casablancas

Quotes 

• Dick Casablancas : So what... You're just going to mope around like the guy in... What's that book when the guy's mom dies and he comes back to Jersey? And he's got that motorcycle sidecar?

  Logan Echolls : Garden State was never a book.

  Dick Casablancas : It wasn't? Oops... So much for that paper. But, if this were a book, the theme of my essay would be the symbolism of how your character had his man parts ripped off by the Veronica Mars character.

  Logan Echolls : My man parts are intact.

  Dick Casablancas : Show me.

  Logan Echolls : You're going to have to take my word for it.

  Dick Casablancas : I mean symbolically. We're young, single men in our sexual prime. And the only reason we're not out there going hog wild is because of your feelings? What are we on The View? Am I Rosie O'Donnell?

• Dick Casablancas : 'Kay. Baby steps. Some dudes, tasty waves, and some tasty brews. That's all we need.

  Chip Diller : Where the hell you been?

  Dick Casablancas : You think I just roll out of bed looking like this? It takes time!

  Chip Diller : [Rubs his shaved head]  Low maintenance! You should try it.

  Dick Casablancas : What, getting sheared by an angry mob of lesbians who stick eggs up people's butts? No, thanks!

  Chip Diller : Uh, I'm just saying it does simplify one's personal grooming.