- Piggy: One day, you and I might have a little tadpole of our own. Wouldn't that be nice, Kermit?
- Kermit: Uh, gee, I, uh, uh...
- Piggy: WOULDN'T IT?
- Kermit: Right. Sure, Piggy.
- Piggy: And we can rock our little polliwog and tell him sweet stories like Piggy in Wonderland.
- Gonzo: You mean Alice in Wonderland, don'tcha?
- Piggy: [grabs Gonzo's nose] If I meant Alice, I would have said Alice, you nerd!
- Piggy: ["reading" to Robin] And so Piggy followed the little tadpole down its tadpole hole.
- Piggy: Oh, I'm falling!
- Gonzo: Hold everything! You're not telling the story right, Piggy. The pictures show Alice chasing a white rabbit down a rabbit hole not a tadpole hole.
- Piggy: I say it's a tadpole and he went down a tadpole hole and if you don't want to wind up stuffed in a weirdo hole YOU BETTER KEEP QUIET!
- Fozzie: I know, Kermit. Your nephew, Robin, would probably love to hear one of my funny jokes.
- Kermit: I don't think he'll understand your jokes, Fozzie, but then none of us ever do either. So, go ahead.
- Fozzie: Here's one you'll just love, Robin. Why are fish so smart? Give up? 'Cause they swim in schools. Get it? Ha ha ha ha!
- [Robin spits water at Fozzie]
- Fozzie: Oh, yuck!
- Kermit: No, no, Robin. You shouldn't spit water when Fozzie tells you a joke, no matter how bad it is.
- Gonzo: [about Piggy] Awww, she called me a nerd. Next thing you know, I'll be the nerd of her dreams.