Psych (TV Series)
Game, Set... Muuurder? (2007)
Dulé Hill: Burton Guster
Quotes
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Shawn Spencer : Ah, yes... Jessica Chan. And how long was eternity for the two of you?
Burton 'Gus' Guster : Three months. But they were awesome months. Except for the end part.
Shawn Spencer : Right. I'd never seen a girl lie about entering the Witness Protection Program.
Burton 'Gus' Guster : She wasn't lying, Shawn.
Shawn Spencer : Gus, I saw her at Starbucks.
Burton 'Gus' Guster : You can't be sure of that.
Shawn Spencer : She was wearing a nametag. She had a plaque on the wall, Employee of the Month. Her hobbies were hiding and lying about hiding.
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Burton 'Gus' Guster : He wants to meet my grandmother.
Shawn Spencer : So?
Burton 'Gus' Guster : So, you know one of them is dead and the other one lives in Jamaica.
Shawn Spencer : Dude, relax! I know, like, five people that could easily play your grandmother.
Burton 'Gus' Guster : Okay, so you know a line-dancing octogenarian who can do chin-ups and has two broken hips?
Shawn Spencer : Yeah, as long as she can be Chinese.
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Landlord : [Gus is lying on the floor pretending to be dead] What the hell's going on?
Shawn Spencer : Nothing, man.
Landlord : Nothing? Is that guy dead?
Shawn Spencer : [sighs] Damn it. Now you've seen too much.
Landlord : Uh, I didn't see anything.
Shawn Spencer : Yeah, ya did. You're in this just as deep as I am now. We're going to have to work together.
Landlord : [nervous] Okay.
Shawn Spencer : I assume this building has an incinerator, yeah?
Landlord : Yeah.
Shawn Spencer : 'Kay. We just have to chop up the body. Then we put the limbs in little plastic baggies and the torso we're going to have to melt down with a blow torch.
[Landlord looks sick]
Burton 'Gus' Guster : [getting up] Okay, I've heard enough.
Landlord : [terrified at seeing Gus alive] Oh!
[runs from the room]
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Shawn Spencer : What happened here?
Juliet O'Hara : This isn't a missing persons case anymore. It's attempted murder.
[Juliet walks away]
Burton 'Gus' Guster : Even *she* gets to say stuff like that!
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Burton 'Gus' Guster : So... The prophecy has been fulfilled.
Shawn Spencer : Hmm. What? What are you talking about? What prophecy?
Burton 'Gus' Guster : Nothing. I just figured it was finally my chance to say something dramatic
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Burton 'Gus' Guster : Wait a second! This is my 'Airwolf' windbreaker. I've been looking for this for like five years now. Why did you take this? I never even saw you wear it!
Shawn Spencer : Of course I didn't wear it. I took it so you wouldn't. Don't put it on! Gus, nobody had an 'Airwolf' jacket except Jan-Michael Vincent!
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Shawn Spencer : Dude, I need you to lay on the ground - pretend to be Deanna.
Burton 'Gus' Guster : I'm not pretending to be a woman half- beaten to death, Shawn.
Shawn Spencer : You know what, I'm starting to wonder if you have serious trust issues with me.
Burton 'Gus' Guster : Really?
Shawn Spencer : Yes. First you wouldn't do the mine field with me, now you won't lay on the floor and pretend to be an unconscious woman - for me. What's going on with you?
Burton 'Gus' Guster : Mmmm...... two words: Airwolf windbreaker.
Shawn Spencer : Alright. Two more: AIRWOLF WINDBREAKER.
Burton 'Gus' Guster : Battleship.
Shawn Spencer : Dude, that was like a million years ago.
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Shawn Spencer : She clearly has someone Daddy doesn't approve of. We find the mystery lover... we find her.
Burton 'Gus' Guster : Dude... why don't I ever get to say stuff like that?