- Dick Dastardly: [after losing yet another race] Oh, who wanted to win this old race, anyway? I did! I wanted to win this race! I never get to win a race!
- Dick Dastardly: [watches Red Max fly over a trap that he has set up] That was a dirty trick! To escape my dirty trick!
- [after Dick Dastardly puts floor wax onto the road, the other cars skid off the road and into a farm. The Ant Hill Mob crash through a barn and end up on the back of a mule , with Ring-a-Ding grabbing onto its tail]
- Ring-a-Ding: Hey! Somebody stop this mule! I wanna get off!
- [the Compact Pussycat and the Army Surplus Special crash through a pile of hay, ending up with Sergeant Blast in the Compact Pussycat and Penelope Pitstop in the Army Surplus Special]
- Sergeant Blast: [in the Compact Pussycat] How in the Zeb Hill do you stop this perfumed jewel box? Uh, maybe this button here.
- [Blast presses the button, and gets covered in makeup powder]
- Sergeant Blast: I'll try this one.
- [presses another button, only it ends up giving him lipstick]
- Dick Dastardly: [after discovering a King Arthur movie set] I've always wanted to be a director. So... I'll start by directing the other Wacky Racers into trouble!
- [chuckles]