- Him: [Looking at everyone loving the Powerpuff Girls] Oh, how I HATE the Powerpuff Girls!
- Narrator: Hate the Powerpuff Girls? Who could hate the... Oh no! Please don't let it be Him!
- Him: [mockingly while bathing] "Oh, Powerpuff Girls, save us! Oh, Powerpuff Girls, we need you! Oh, Powerpuff Girls we LOVE you!"
- [turning the bathwater into lava]
- Him: Powerpuff Girls, Powerpuff Girls, POWERPUFF GIRLS!
- Big Billy: [the exterior of Townsville Hall. The phone begins to ring; inside, pan slowly across the office, now trashed, and stop on the Gang asleep on and around the couch. Close-up of Billy, the ringing phone right in front of his face. He wakes up and answers it] Hello?
- HIM: [over phone; using his evil voice] I demand to speak with the Mayor!
- Big Billy: Uh, he's not here right now. Can I take a massage?
- [Cuts back and forth between "Him," phone in hand, and Big Billy]
- HIM: Do you know when he'll be back?
- Big Billy: Uh... I don't know. See, Grubber tricked the Mayor into leaving so we could break in and use the Powerpuff hotline to make crank calls.
- HIM: Huh?
- [effeminate voice]
- HIM: You don't say. Well, to whom might I be speaking?
- Big Billy: Uh, this is Billy.
- HIM: Billy who?
- Big Billy: Big Billy from the Gangreen Gang. Who is this?
- [a click, then a dial tone]
- Big Billy: Hello?
- [Pull back to bring the rest of the Gang into view. An o.c. crash jolts them awake. Cut to the door, where Fuzzy, Mojo, and "Him" are now standing and looking very put out. Mojo is holding a blaster]
- HIM: [effeminate voice, to evil] So... you guys like to make crank calls!
- [the three proceed to beat up the Gangreen Gang]
- Blossom: Okay, Fuzzy. Prepare to get stomped!
- [Back to him in the tub; he is lost under a sudden splash of water: the girls' impact against the tub. When it clears, Buttercup is ready to deck him]
- Buttercup: This is for anything you broke!
- [She hits him]
- Blossom: [pulling his antennas] this is for anyone you hurt!
- Bubbles: [holding his banjo, she raises it over her head] And this is for taking a bath!
- [She swings the hit knocks him beneath the surface of the water, which begins to bubble]
- Buttercup: Uh-Oh. I think maybe he was just taking a bath.
- Bubbles: Fuzzy...?
- Bubbles: Um... We didn't mean to...
- [Fuzzy rises from his bath, towering above them, beeting red with anger. They look up at him and smile and giggle nervously]
- Bubbles: I guess you weren't going crazy. You were just taking a bath.
- [All three giggle and inch away to one side before dashing off at top speed. Back to the exterior of the house as they fly in, then to the girls in front of the TV. In the background, the Professor is still on the phone; we hear the dial tone again]
- Him: [Speaking to his rubber duck] Oh, Mr. Quackers, am I the only one who HATES those miserable little brats, hmm?
- [squeaks it]
- Him: You hate them too? Oh, I knew I could count on you. But how could I possibly beat them WITH ALL THAT LOVE SURROUNDING THEM?
- [He squeezes the duckie again and holds it up to his ear]
- Him: What's that, you say?
- [smiling broadly]
- Him: Yes! THAT'S BRILLIANT! Oh, Mr. Quackers, you are soooo smart. Quite a positively evil scheme you've hatched. And I'll finally be rid of those girls...
- Him: [the water erupts into a red geyser behind him] *FOREVER!*
- Mojo Jojo: [Mojo is sitting in a canvas beach chair in his lair. He is on the phone] All right, all right, Fuzzy, I heard you the first time... I know.
- [the line beeps]
- Mojo Jojo: I kn - hold on, Fuzzy. There's someone on the other line.
- [He pushes a button to pick up the call]
- HIM: [over the phone, using his evil voice] Mojo! It's me...
- [Split-screen view to show him; he continues in his effeminate voice]
- HIM: ..."Him."
- [the sound of this voice unsettles Mojo considerably]
- Mojo Jojo: [jumps off his chair] Yes, sir! What is it?
- HIM: You won't believe what just happened!
- Mojo Jojo: [hops back on his chair] The Powerpuff Girls just broke in unexpected?
- HIM: What? How did you know?
- Mojo Jojo: The same thing happened to me and Fuzzy Lumpkins. He's on the other line.
- HIM: Well, put him on!
- [Mojo pushes a button on his phone, and the screen splits again to show Fuzzy, now dressed and back to his normal pink color from his earlier red enraged state at the Girls]
- Fuzzy Lumpkins: Bushwhacked in my birthday suit!
- HIM: This is an outrage!
- Mojo Jojo: You are right. We're all citizens. Evil citizens, but citizens nonetheless.
- Fuzzy Lumpkins: Birthday suit!
- [He sobs]
- HIM: We should complain!
- Mojo Jojo: But to who?
- Him: [using his effeminate voice] Hello, girls.
- [panting]
- Him: What a pleasant surprise! Ooh, what's the occasion?
- Blossom: Uh... we were wondering...
- Him: [doing push-ups] How I stay so fit? Well, now you know.
- Blossom: Uh, no, actually, did you do anything... evil today?
- Him: [touching toes] No, not today.
- [still panting]
- Him: Why do you ask?
- Blossom: No reason, just wondering.
- [Pull back; "Him" jogs around them as he speaks]
- Him: This figure doesn't come easy, you know. I took a little time off to get into shape.
- Blossom: So... you haven't been...
- Him: Nope.
- Blossom: [laughing nervously] Okay, I guess we'll see you later.
- Him: I guess you will.
- Blossom: Okay. Bye, then.
- [She exits; her sisters follow]
- Him: Goodbye, girls. Come back soon.
- Mojo Jojo: [Mojo is sleeping with a newspaper over his face on his recliner chair. After several seconds of silence, the girls crash in through the ceiling, jolting him awake] Wha...?
- [the girls start pounding on him. From his chair, he yells at them]
- Mojo Jojo: What is the meaning of...
- [the end of the sentence is cut off when Blossom shoves the back of the chair down onto him, squashing him. Buttercup picks the chair up and throws it against a wall. It falls to the floor and lands on its back, leaving him looking up at the girls]
- Blossom: Don't play dumb. We know you've got some evil plot underway!
- Mojo Jojo: What are you talking about?
- Buttercup: Oh, like you don't have a giant robot ready to smash Townsville
- Mojo Jojo: No.
- Blossom: No diabolical plans to destroy the world?
- Mojo Jojo: No.
- Bubbles: Turn everyone into zombies and you scare people!
- Mojo Jojo: Oh, for crying out loud. No! I had no intention of committing any crimes today.
- Blossom: Then what were you doing before we got here?
- Mojo Jojo: Sleeping!
- Buttercup: Before that?
- Mojo Jojo: Reading the paper!
- Blossom: [deflated] Oh.
- [Long pause]
- Blossom: Well... You better behave yourself, or we'll be back.
- Mojo Jojo: [sarcastically] Oh goodness. I better not snore.
- Professor: Hello?
- Lil' Arturo: Hi, am I speaking to the man of the house?
- Professor: Yes, by golly, you are.
- Lil' Arturo: Well, then... you just won ten million dollars!
- [He grins]
- Professor: [flabbergasted] Te-ten million d-ten million dollars? Oh, wow! I've never won anything in my life!
- Lil' Arturo: [laughing] Please hold.
- Professor: Sure, I'll hold.
- [the other Gang members begin to laugh, and Lil' Arturo covers the mouthpiece and shushes them. Full-screen view: Ace lifts Lil' Arturo up to the phone, and he taps the hook to break the connection. Split-screen view: the whole Gang laughs heartily at the joke, while the Professor stands at his phone, a wide smile frozen on his face. The Gang's side expands to fill the screen again, and once more Ace picks up the receiver]
- Woman: Hello?
- Big Billy: [long silence] Hi.
- Woman: Who is this?
- Big Billy: [long silence] Billy.
- [Ace puts his hand to his forehead]
- Woman: Billy who?
- Big Billy: [long pause] Big Billy
- Woman: Hey, is this some kind of crank call?
- Big Billy: [long silence] Yes.
- Woman: Well, it's not a very good one.
- Big Billy: I'm sorry.
- Ace: [grabs the phone away] Aw, come on, gimme that!
- [into phone]
- Ace: Uh... Prince Albert, the fridge!
- [He hangs up; The Gang's side expands to full screen]
- Ace: That was pathetic!
- Lil' Arturo: We're sorry Ace! We can be funnier!
- Ace: Nah, it ain't the jokes, it's the pranks. They're too small-time. We're the Gangreen Gang, for cryin' out loud! We need somethin' big. Somethin' this whole city will never forget!
- [He sighs and thinks for a moment. During the next line, pulls back slowly to show them gathered outside Townsville Hall]
- Ace: Boys... I think I got it!
- Professor: Hello?
- Lil' Arturo: Hi, am I speaking to the man of the house?
- Professor: Yes, by golly, you are.
- Lil' Arturo: Well, then... you just won ten million dollars!
- [He grins]
- Professor: [flabbergasted] Te-ten million d-ten million dollars? Oh, wow! I've never won anything in my life!
- Lil' Arturo: [laughing] Please hold.
- Professor: Sure, I'll hold.
- Housewife: Hello?
- Big Billy: Hi.
- Housewife: Who is this?
- Big Billy: Billy.
- [Ace smacks his hand on his forehead]
- Housewife: Billy who?
- Big Billy: Big Billy.
- Housewife: Hey, is this some kind of crank call?
- Big Billy: [long pause] Yes.
- Housewife: Well, it's not a very good one.
- Big Billy: I'm sorry.
- Ace: [grabs the phone away] Aw, come on, gimme that!
- [into phone]
- Ace: Uh... Prince Albert, the fridge!
- [He hangs up;bthe Gang's side expands to full screen]
- Ace: That was pathetic!
- Lil' Arturo: We're sorry, Ace! We can be funnier!
- Ace: Nah, it ain't the jokes, it's the pranks. They're too small-time. We're the Gangreen Gang, for cryin' out loud! We need somethin' big. Somethin' this whole city will never forget!
- [He sighs and thinks for a moment. During the next line, pull back slowly to show them gathered outside Townsville Hall]
- Ace: Boys... I think I got it!