- Polly Nguyen: I no want to go with you, Sam. Rather wipe butt with angry porcupine.
- Samantha Jane "Sam" Marquez: How much.
- Polly Nguyen: You say how much.
- Samantha Jane "Sam" Marquez: Five hundred.
- Polly Nguyen: No way, I make that in one hour give happy time to special client.
- Samantha Jane "Sam" Marquez: A thousand, come on.
- Polly Nguyen: Ok, two hour but then I have big cuticle disaster, take all day like foreskin on cave buffalo.
- [Leaving traffic school]
- Samantha Jane "Sam" Marquez: Oh thank God that's over.
- Polly Nguyen: Yeah, start to smell in there like butt crack in steam room.
- Polly Nguyen: [On being told by a female judge she must attend traffic court] Oh, no, preeze ma'am. I give you free wax. Mustache. You need.