John from Cincinnati (TV Series)

His Visit: Day Three (2007)

Ed O'Neill: Bill Jacks

Quotes 

• Bill Jacks : [Bill has just picked up the day's morning paper from his floor]  Look at this, Zip. This fills me with misgivings. Bandying words like 'Miracle' in the newspaper headline. This can only attract new types of shit heel into that boy's life, which wasn't short of shit heels before.

• Bill Jacks : [Bill is attempting to tear off a piece of Duct tape as it gets caught on a few of his teeth]  There it is. That's it. That's the doomsday scenario. May this pain come to Clinton for disgracing the Oval Office.

  [Bill rips the tape off as fast as he can] 

  Bill Jacks : Ooh! Jesus Christ! Jesus Christ!

• Bill Jacks : [Bill's doorbell rings]  Hey, I'm in my underwear, and I don't want any magazines!

• Bill Jacks : I got my eye on you.

• Bill Jacks : [to Zippy]  Okay, going out to help these two... Something new everyday.

• Bill Jacks : Safe. I got my eye on you.

• Bill Jacks : Where's the dwarf with the dangling arm?

  Steady Freddie Lopez : He is in our shared bathroom.

• [last lines] 

  Steady Freddie Lopez : I got a lizard back home. Changes shapes.

  Bill Jacks : Chameleons they call 'em

• Bill Jacks : You in trouble?

  Butchie Yost : No.

  Bill Jacks : Well my testicles are on display in the neighborhood. Get in here!

• Bill Jacks : My bird Zippy conveyed to me. Just because of obvious dissimilarities between us, we become friends.

  Steady Freddie Lopez : He used the word, dissimilarities.

  Bill Jacks : He conveyed. I never said he spoke.

• Tina Blake : I'm looking for Butchie Yost.

  Bill Jacks : Butchie's not here.

• Bill Jacks : Jesus Christ! Jesus Christ!