- [Stanley is disguised as a king]
- Henry Chan: Now what are you doing?
- Stanley Chan: I figure if the guard spots me, he'll just think I'm a typical citizen.
- Henry Chan: THAT'S typical?
- Stanley Chan: Sure. Who's more typical than a plain old king?
- Henry Chan: Get rid of that stupid disguise and let's go!
- Stanley Chan: [back in his regular clothes] Boy, what a grouch.
- [On Captain Rigby's boat]
- Nancy Chan: I sure hope we land soon. I'm getting seasick.
- Flip Chan: You can't! We're on a river.
- Nancy Chan: Can a person get river sick?
- Charlie Chan: [on the phone] Immediately, Inspector. Goodbye.
- [Charlie hangs up]
- Flip Chan: We're headin' for Scotland Yard, right, Pop?
- Charlie Chan: Wrong. I'M headed for Scotland Yard, YOU'RE headed for Westminster Abbey, where I'll meet you later.
- Anne Chan: Aw, Pop!
- Charlie Chan: In your own words, "Let's spit!"
- Flip Chan: [on the phone] Okay, start talking. It's your dime.
- Nancy Chan: Shilling, Flip. We're in England.
- [Susie, Alan, Anne, and Tom are following Whitefield and his kangaroo on rental bikes]
- Tom Chan: These bicycles are ridiculous!
- Susie Chan: [panting] My legs are worn down to the knee.
- Tom Chan: Couldn't you rent anything better?
- Anne Chan: What do you expect for one pound, sixpence? Stop complaining and pedal!
- Charlie Chan: [after Henry and Stanley are brought in] Trespassing?
- Stanley Chan: Gee, Pop, we'd had bet our lives the guard was the guilty one.
- Charlie Chan: Fortunately, you did not have to make such a wager.
- Stanley Chan: There's the Stone of Scone under that throne.
- Tom Chan: And for 600 years, all the kings of England have been crowned on that stone.
- Stanley Chan: Boy, that must've been pretty crowded. Heh-heh-heh! Get it, Henry? All those kings on one little old rock? Heh-heh-heh!
- Henry Chan: I get it, and I'd like to give it back.