House M.D. (TV Series)
The Jerk (2007)
Jesse Spencer: Dr. Robert Chase
Quotes
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Dr. Gregory House : I like this kid.
Dr. Robert Chase : You haven't met him.
Dr. Gregory House : I know you hate him. What more do I need to know?
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Dr. Allison Cameron : Where's Foreman?
Dr. Gregory House : He's mad at me.
Dr. Allison Cameron : Why?
Dr. Gregory House : No reason.
Dr. Robert Chase : [scoffs] Yeah, that makes sense.
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Dr. Robert Chase : It's Tuesday.
Dr. Allison Cameron : I know.
Dr. Robert Chase : I like you.
Dr. Allison Cameron : [smiles] I know. See you next Tuesday.
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Dr. Allison Cameron : Foreman's interview in New York got screwed up.
Dr. Robert Chase : I heard.
Dr. Allison Cameron : Foreman thought it was House, House thought it was Cuddy, Cuddy thought it was Wilson, Wilson thought it was me.
[stares accusingly at Chase]
Dr. Robert Chase : And you think it was me?
[chuckles]
Dr. Robert Chase : God, you think I sabotaged Foreman? I don't even want him here.
Dr. Allison Cameron : I know.
Dr. Robert Chase : Then why would I do...?
Dr. Allison Cameron : I think you sabotaged Foreman just to sabotage Foreman.
Dr. Robert Chase : So everyone's a suspect because everyone wants to help House, except for me. I'm a suspect because I'm a petty, vindictive jerk?
[Cameron stares at him]
Dr. Robert Chase : You actually think I would do something like that?
Dr. Allison Cameron : It was someone.
Dr. Robert Chase : [firm tone] It wasn't me.
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Dr. Robert Chase : Blood thinners and TMS had no effect; it's not cluster headaches.
Dr. Gregory House : You accusing the symptoms of lying?
Dr. Allison Cameron : Could be hemachromatosis.
Dr. Gregory House : Wouldn't account for the personality disorder.
Dr. Robert Chase : Hypothyroidism.
Dr. Gregory House : He's not getting aggressive and lethargic, he's getting aggressive and aggressiver.
Dr. Allison Cameron : What about ruptured dermoid cyst?
Dr. Gregory House : [House stumbles backward] Sorry. I just got dizzy there. I was expecting to turn right. It's Foreman's turn to be shot down.
Dr. Eric Foreman : [listlessly] The thing that Cameron said.
Dr. Gregory House : Way to think outside the box. But no fat in the ventricles. It's cluster headaches.
Dr. Robert Chase : Normal treatment didn't work. Abnormal treatment didn't work.
Dr. Gregory House : Good point, Foreman. The normal treatments don't always work. Symptoms never lie.
Dr. Allison Cameron : The only approved treatment left for cluster headaches is brain surgery and that's not even a guarantee.
Dr. Gregory House : Back off, Foreman!
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Dr. Robert Chase : [while giving Nate mushrooms] Nate, how's the pain?
Nate : Hey, it's Skippy, the bush kangaroo!
Dr. Robert Chase : Your head, Nate. We need to know how the pain is.
Nate : What I got here is the opposite of pain.
Dr. Allison Cameron : That means you're suffering from cluster headaches which means hopefully...
[Nate looks at Cameron]
Nate : [laughs] Man, you're hot!
[turns to Chase]
Nate : She's making me horny.
Dr. Robert Chase : Deal with it.
Nate : Hey, hey, hey, hey. You can't get me stoned then not close the deal.
Dr. Robert Chase : [under his breath] God, shut up.
Dr. Allison Cameron : [to Chase] Take it easy, he's not well.
Nate : [laughs] You'll regret saying no. Check it out.
[Nate opens his gown exposing himself to Chase and Cameron]
Dr. Robert Chase : [disgusted tone] Oh, for God's sake!