Psych (TV Series)
American Duos (2007)
James Roday Rodriguez: Shawn Spencer
Quotes
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Carlton Lassiter : Spencer, you missed something. We found prints.
Shawn Spencer : Was he in a little red corvette?
Burton 'Gus' Guster : Under the cherry moon?
Carlton Lassiter : *Finger* prints.
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Shawn Spencer : I'm Shawn Spenstar. This is my partner, Gus T.T. Showbiz.
Burton 'Gus' Guster : The extra T is for extra talent.
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Burton 'Gus' Guster : How did you know that sandwich didn't come from the kitchen?
Shawn Spencer : Easy. There were only eighty-three sesame seeds on his bun. All the other ones from the hotel have eighty-seven.
Burton 'Gus' Guster : Are you serious?
Shawn Spencer : [scoffs] No. The other ones have swords, Nigel's had a toothpick. I'm not Rain Man, Gus.
Burton 'Gus' Guster : You sing like Rain Man.
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Shawn Spencer : [about American Duos] This is just another knock-off of the other knock-off of the original knock-off of that other show.
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Henry Spencer : Take it off!
Nigel St. Nigel : No!
Shawn Spencer : Uh, Dad? I think he's going commando under there.
Henry Spencer : No, he's not.
[looks at Nigel, who smiles]
Henry Spencer : What kind of sick bastard goes commando underneath another man's robe?
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Burton 'Gus' Guster : [the phone rings] Don't you dare answer that.
Shawn Spencer : Dude, it's Jules. She could be bleeding and in a ditch.
Burton 'Gus' Guster : She's not bleeding.
Shawn Spencer : She could be in a ditch.
Burton 'Gus' Guster : She's not in a ditch.
Shawn Spencer : She could be lonely and in the shower.
Burton 'Gus' Guster : She has a shower phone?
Shawn Spencer : I certainly hope so. Dude, it's a win-win... except for the ditch one.
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[in an interrogation room]
Carlton Lassiter : Great. What are you two doing down at that competition?
Burton 'Gus' Guster : We're looking for our big break.
Shawn Spencer : Do I get a phone call?
Carlton Lassiter : No. I am trying to conduct an investigation. Out!
Shawn Spencer : Don't you want to ask us if we did it?
Burton 'Gus' Guster : Ask *him*. I plead the fifth.
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Henry Spencer : I've got an ice-cold can of whoop-ass just sitting in that fridge!
Shawn Spencer : Actually, it's diet whoop-ass.
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Burton 'Gus' Guster : Shawn, we're in a hallway. Staying close to the wall doesn't make us invisible.
Shawn Spencer : I'm going to disagree.
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Juliet O'Hara : Shawn, I'm a detective, not a svengali.
Shawn Spencer : Oh, come on, Jules...
Juliet O'Hara : Shawn, I think I would know if I were a svengali.
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[Shawn attempts to take food off Gus's plate]
Burton 'Gus' Guster : You must be out of your damn mind.
Shawn Spencer : Dude, you have three full cobs.
Burton 'Gus' Guster : Shawn, I will slap you.
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Carlton Lassiter : Spencer, you missed something. We've found prints.
Shawn Spencer : Was he in a little red Corvette...
Burton 'Gus' Guster : under the cherry moon?
Carlton Lassiter : Finger-prints
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Shawn Spencer : [to Gus] Stop acting like a rapid porcupine!
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Nigel St. Nigel : [seeing Henry's house] Good Lord. Who lives here, the Boringtons?
Shawn Spencer : There's a better then decent chance this goes poorly.
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[Shawn is kneeling beside a toilet]
Burton 'Gus' Guster : That's what you get for drinking whole milk, Shawn.
Shawn Spencer : Dude, I have bones of granite.
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Lester Beacon : You supposed to be up here?
Shawn Spencer : Define "supposed to be."
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Juliet O'Hara : I wouldn't put all my eggs in Emilina's basket. She's barely lucid enough to form word endings, much less plan a series of attacks on Nigel's life.
Shawn Spencer : She could be like Keyser Soze.
Burton 'Gus' Guster : With one shoe.
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Shawn Spencer : Nigel!
Nigel St. Nigel : [crawling out from under a table] I just, um, dropped some... items.