What Happens in Vegas (2008)

Cameron Diaz: Joy McNally

Photos 

Quotes 

• [after Joy is dumped by her fiancé] 

  Tipper : You know what? I can get a couple of my brother's loser ass friends to go over to Mason's apartment , knock on the door and when he opens it wham! They'll junk-punch him all up in his man business and he'll fall to the floor whaling and crying "why?" and then we'll say "you know why!"

  Joy McNally : Wow! Did you just make that up?

  Tipper : No, I thought about it a lot on the way over

• Joy McNally : Is there any part of the night, I don't know, maybe say the part where I was about to marry the rebound guy, that you thought, 'hey oh my God, this is a really good time for an intervention'?

  Tipper : [extremely hungover]  Seriously?

  Joy McNally : Yeah.

  Tipper : I like... threw up in my own purse... so...

• Jack Fuller : How hard can it be?

  Joy McNally : I know how hard it isn't.

• Joy McNally : That's just the topping I wanted on my popcorn. I know the box said its movie theater butter, but you guessed it. What I really wanted was Jack's Sweaty ballsack flavor!

  Jack Fuller : I'm just giving you what you want, baby.

• Joy McNally : The grown-ups have to go to work today... What are you going to do all day?

  Jack Fuller : I don't know yet

  [shoves cereal in mouth] 

  Joy McNally : Hmph.

  Jack Fuller : I'd rather do nothing and be happy than do something I know I don't love.

  Joy McNally : Words to live by, Yanni.

• Chong : I eat girls like you.

  Joy McNally : You eat girls?

  Chong : That's not what I me...

  Joy McNally : No, makes sense.

  Chong : No! I'm not...

  Joy McNally : Totally understandable.

• Jack Fuller : If you stop betting, you never have to lose.

  Joy McNally : I'd bet on you, Jack.

• Jack Fuller : [standing outside the bathroom door, knocking on]  Hon?

  Joy McNally : [from inside the bathroom]  Yeah.

  Jack Fuller : Fucks you if I just get in there for a sec?

  Joy McNally : [doing her hair]  I'm almost done. I'll be right out.

  Jack Fuller : No, "be right out" is not really gonna work. Like, "be right out right *now*"?

  Joy McNally : [taking her time]  I'm *almost* done!

  Jack Fuller : [jumping outside the door]  Ahhh...

  Joy McNally : [inside the bathroom, hearing noise of dishes, goes out]  Okay, it's...

  [walks into the kitchen to find Jack pissing in their sink] 

  Jack Fuller : Oh yeah, this is happening. You only have yourself to blame. Oh, by the way, it's your day on dishes.

• Jack Fuller : [before entering their first marital counseling session]  You ready for this?

  Joy McNally : Pretend that you don't make me vomit in my nose every time I look at you? Definitely.

• Jack Fuller : Will to be married to me... again?

  Joy McNally : [sighs]  Being with you makes me be myself again so I will be married to you... again.

  [they kiss] 

  Joy McNally : I quit my job.

  Jack Fuller : Good thing we have a ton of money!

• Joy McNally : By not trying to please you, I think I became myself again.

• Chong : Be whoever you want to be, you'll still gonna be my subordinate.

  Joy McNally : Excuse me?

  Chong : It's from the Latin, meaning "my bitch."