The Good Place (TV Series)
A Girl from Arizona Part 2 (2019)
Kristen Bell: Eleanor Shellstrop
Photos
Quotes
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[Eleanor has quit her role as team leader]
Eleanor Shellstrop : I'm not meant for this! I'm not the frickin' savior of the universe. I'm just... a girl from Arizona. That's it. I'm just a normal girl from Arizona. I ate junk food, I watched reality shows, I sometimes left H&M wearing more underpants than I had on when I came in. I did a bad job of being in charge of my own life, and now I'm supposed to be in charge of everyone else's life? I... I cannot do this.
Michael : When I started my experiment, I thought, 'Four broken birdbrains who will believe everything I tell them. This will be a breeze.' You beat me in three months. 'Okay, fine,' I thought, 'a fluke.' You then beat me 800 more times. Because human beings, it turns out, are weird, and I will never truly understand what it's like to be one. This is a job for a human. One who's tough, but also empathetic, and has a big heart - and a world-class bullshirt detector. You think you can't do this? Eleanor, you're the only one who can do this. Like it or not, the only one who can save humanity is a girl from Arizona.
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Eleanor Shellstrop : But everything I do blows up in my face. I'm like a hot blonde Wile E. Coyote.
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Brent Norwalk : In the words of Martin Luther King jr., who I personally believe was a great man, he said that when life knocks you on your butt, you jump back up and start throwin' haymakers.
Eleanor Shellstrop : I'm not sure he said that.
Brent Norwalk : No, no, he did. You're wrong.
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Janet : It isn't personal, Eleanor. When we started this experiment, I calculated a 9% chance of success. After your first three days on the job, it's down to 7.1%. So purely from a mathematical standpoint, you are kind of pooching it.
Eleanor Shellstrop : Very helpful feedback. And if I could give you some feedback, uh, I'd say that you're all ungrateful ash-faces, who can shove your fat grumps all the way up your snork-box.
Michael : [confused] Which curses were those?
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Eleanor Shellstrop : I didn't ask for this. I'm only doing it because Michael, who is supposed to be in charge, had a nervous breakdown the second it started. But maybe you can do it better than me. Tahani can be in charge since she's so smart. Or better yet, Jason. Maybe all of humanity can be saved with one good, old-fashioned Jacksonville carnival.
Jason Mendoza : I mean, we could try. All I need is a bouncy house, some ninja stars and a bunch of ambulances.
Eleanor Shellstrop : Well, good luck, fork-faces. I quit. Shellstrop out.
