Pushing Daisies (TV Series)

Girth (2007)

Chi McBride: Emerson Cod

Photos 

Quotes 

• Emerson Cod : What did you compete about?

  Olive Snook : Promise you won't laugh?

  Emerson Cod : NO

  Olive Snook : I used to be a professional horse jockey.

  Emerson Cod : Hahahaha!

  [mimics riding a horse] 

  Emerson Cod : Hahahaha!

• Emerson Cod : There's a legless skeleton of a horse in John Jacobs' tomb, and Olive knows you're dead.

  Charlotte 'Chuck' Charles : First of all, huh? And secondly, Olive thinks that I faked my death which is completely different to knowing that I'm dead.

  Emerson Cod : Yeah, different like purple and mauve.

• Olive Snook : Yesterday, a farrier named Lucas Shoemaker was found dead. Trampled.

  Emerson Cod : Why should I care about a dude that sells fur coats?

  Olive Snook : Not a furrier, a farrier. *Heir*.

  Emerson Cod : Fair-rier?

  Olive Snook : It's a blacksmith. Puts shoes on horses.

  Emerson Cod : Don't try to act like that's a word everybody knows.

• Olive Snook : [about Mamma Jacobs' house]  Hansel and Gretel would've lived a lot longer if they had to find this dump.

  Charlotte 'Chuck' Charles : Hansel and Gretel lived, by the way, once they tricked the witch into the oven, they stole her jewels, went home with their father, only to discover that their stepmother, who had sent them into the woods had died of evilness.

  Emerson Cod : You can't die of evilness.

  Charlotte 'Chuck' Charles : Happens all the time you do something mean or hurtful to someone like tell a secret... Bang! You're dead.

  Olive Snook : Or Bang! You're not really dead you're just pretending to be dead while other people who think you're dead are heartbroken.

  Emerson Cod : Or Bang! You talk too much and you both go wait in the car.

• Ned : Is this a bad idea? Olive as a client? It's a little too close for comfort.

  Emerson Cod : Oh, hang on a second, let me ask the money.

  Emerson Cod : [Pretends to talk on a phone]  Hey, money. It's me, Emerson. I'm good. I'm good. Yeah, thanks for asking. Say, can I still pay my bills and buy stuff with you ever though you were Olive's money first? Uh-huh...

  Ned : Wait...

  Emerson Cod : Yeah. Okay then.

  [Chuckles] 

  Emerson Cod : Thanks.

  Emerson Cod : [Serious look]  The money don't care. Touch him.

• Emerson Cod : Check, please.

  [Olive slams two bundles of dollars before him] 

  Emerson Cod : Or cash. Cash is good.

  Olive Snook : I want to hire you. Technically, I already have, since you were so grabby with the cash.

  Emerson Cod : Think of it as an escrow - between my thighs.

• [Emerson hits Mamma Jacobs off her horse with a shovel] 

  Emerson Cod : I love you, shovel.

• Gordon McSmalls : [singing drunkenly and off-key]  And never brought to mind...

  Ned : Could you not sing?

  Gordon McSmalls : If I don't sing, I throw up.

  Emerson Cod : Sing.

• Emerson Cod : You can't die of evilness.

  Charlotte 'Chuck' Charles : Happens all the time you do something mean or hurtful to someone like tell a secret... Bang! You're dead.

  Olive Snook : Or Bang! You're not really dead you're just pretending to be dead while other people who think you're dead are heartbroken.

  Emerson Cod : Or Bang! You talk too much and you both go wait in the car

• Emerson Cod : Where've you been?

  Olive Snook : Not important.

  Emerson Cod : It's important to me. I missed you.

• Olive Snook : Maybe John Joseph faked his death, people do that all the time.

  Emerson Cod : No, they don't.

  Olive Snook : Yeah, they do. Sometimes they just, don't even try to cover it up. They just show up and ruin your life like no one's ever gonna figure it out. But then, you do figure it out 'cause you're not an idiot. Are you an idiot?

  Emerson Cod : No, because an idiot might misunderstand what you're saying and hit you with a shovel.