Photos
Quotes
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Ben Selleck : Look, I may be old fashioned, but when a man tells me to wear my boner pants I wear my boner pants.
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Ben Selleck : And who is this guy? Well you are a strapping young man.
Brent Gage : Brent Gage, Sir.
Ben Selleck : Brent Gage, Now that is a strong name. I don't know why but right off the bat i like you... *a lot*
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Teddy Dang : Mr. Selleck, I think i made a sale.
Ben Selleck : Terrific, good job Teddy!
Teddy Dang : And he wants to pay in cash, non sequential unmarked bills, neatly packed in this canvas bag.
Ben Selleck : well thats a bank bag Teddy...
[bag full of blue dye packs explodes in Teddy's face, customer speeds away]
Teddy Dang : Ah! My eyes, My eyes! My Lasik!
Ben Selleck : Awe shit somebody call the cops.
Teddy Dang : It Burns!
Ben Selleck : Teddy go flush your eyes out.
Teddy Dang : I feel like a smurf just jizzed in my face!
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Don Ready : You're here from Selleck Motors?
Peter Selleck : No but my dad is.
Don Ready : You know you're supposed to put the name of the party you're picking up not your own. Love the drawing though.
Peter Selleck : Yea I'm a really good drawer, I like to draw stomach muscles the most. I can also draw Darth Vader's Helmet, I can also draw him, I can draw uhh a saber, A lightsaber or a regular sword it dudnt even matter
Don Ready : What the fuck is wrong with you? Are ya drunk? Are you retarded? Because were here to help you.
Peter Selleck : Don't move! Dad! Amber Alert! Adult! Stranger Danger Stranger Danger! Dad!
Babs Merrick : Looks like it wasn't the fax ink, hes some sort of man child.
Ben Selleck : Its a pituitary problem ma'am, Hes 10... in the developing body of an adult
Don Ready : Awe I'm sorry buddy, I'm totally sorry. Put it up there high five, good effort there
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Ben Selleck : Hey Brent, you see my wife over there?
Brent Gage : Yea
Ben Selleck : it is a *dead* marriage but, ya know, ya learn to live with it. Drive around out at night windows down, music up. Some people call it cruisin' me i call it looking for a friend. Are you my friend Brent?
Brent Gage : No!
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Don Ready : Make sure your underwear is *tight* tomorrow... because you will have a boner.
Peter Selleck : Hahaha!
Jibby Newsome : Amen
Ben Selleck : I like the sound of that, Right Brent?