Bob Saget: Self

Quotes 

• Bob Saget : The point of all this--aren't you relieved there's a point? I am. The point is my wife's sick, so I'm on call tonight if the kids need me, which would normally not be a problem... but tonight I've got to get my 'beauty sleep' because I tape my big TV special tomorrow night.

• Bob Saget : Mom, Dad... what are you doing here?

  Bob's Dad : We wanted to make sure you ate before your show.

  Bob Saget : I don't have time to eat, I'm late!

  Bob's Mom : You don't have time for dinner?

  Bob's Dad : Your mother dried out the chicken just the way you like it--smothered in ketchup!

• Bob Saget : [Climbing hill up to the Hollywood sign]  Oh man! I can't believe my manager booked me in this place. How are they gonna get an audience up here, helicopter? Ow! another burr... this one's huge. It's Raymond Burr!

• Bob Saget : Mom, Dad... look, I love you both very, very much. And I'd never want to hurt you... .but your food is so bad, I can't explain to you in words how much I hate it.

  Bob's Dad : You used to eat my veal chops like they were going out of style!

  Bob Saget : That's before I discovered restaurants.

• Bob Saget : I actually think the REM state is the dream state, and if that's true, you might be wondering, "Why isn't your wife Sharon floating next to you?" There's a reason for that: she feels like crap. Besides, she knows I'm taking care of the kids tonight, so she's probably off in Tahiti with MacGyver.

• Bob Saget : [Eating green eggs and ham, with plush toys in the other chairs]  You guys want some of this? Nah, you're probably stuffed!

• Special Guest Appearance : Hey Bob! Me and your daughter, we're in love! We're gonna get married! Whoo!

  Bob Saget : Great. I'll call the rabbi.

  Special Guest Appearance : Is that a note of sarcasm I detect in your voice? Do you think I'm a loser? You don't think I'm good enough for your daughter? Take a look at this, pal. Take a good look at this, buddy! I'm RICH! I am loaded! I got money coming out of my ass!... literally. Hang on, it takes a minute for me to get it... .ungh!