The Good Place (TV Series)
You've Changed, Man (2020)
Ted Danson: Michael
Photos
Quotes
-
Eleanor Shellstrop : Okay, we need to come up with our ideal plan in about ten minutes.
Michael : Guys, it's all come to this. Everything we've been through - multiple lives you led on Earth, all the lives here, all the ethics training and lessons and journeys to the farthest corners of the afterlife - all happened so that we could be here together, as the very best versions of ourselves, to solve the ultimate problem... in the nick of time.
Eleanor Shellstrop : [unimpressed] Cool speech. Now it's nine minutes.
-
Michael : Okay, before we try to completely redesign the entire afterlife, has anyone just thought of a good reason the Judge *shouldn't* cancel Earth?
Jason Mendoza : Because it would be a bummer.
Michael : Yeah, we might need more than that.
Jason Mendoza : Are you at least gonna write it down?
Michael : [hesitates, then writes something on his notepad] Eh... all right...
Jason Mendoza : Did you actually write it down, or did you just do a scribble-scrabble?
[Michael scowls, then tears the sheet off and crumples it up]
-
Eleanor Shellstrop : You seem oddly sure, which is unlike you, but... it's kinda doing it for me. Should we get out of here? No, but I like the confidence!
Chidi Anagonye : Well, when you have a thousand different versions of you over multiple timelines fused and instantly placed into your consciousness, it gives you a real sense of clarity.
Michael : [grinning] You saw the Time Knife, didn't you?
Chidi Anagonye : Yep. Saw the Time Knife.
[shrugs]
Chidi Anagonye : It was neat.
-
Chidi Anagonye : So anyone who doesn't meet the threshold for the new Medium Place neighborhood is yours for the taking. The Bad Place still has plenty of people to torture.
Shawn : I have to admit, this does make sense. And I like that your side is settling for a crappy deal while my side stays mostly the same. What the hell. I'm in.
Michael : Really?
Shawn : [laughs] No! You actually believed me?
Eleanor Shellstrop : Dude, in 20 minutes, all of humanity is going to be erased forever.
Shawn : And?
Chidi Anagonye : The Bad Place will get emptied out, too. You'll have no one to torture for billions of years. Everyone loses.
Shawn : Oh, I know. But here's the thing: I don't care if everyone loses as long as you lose.
Michael : Shawn, listen to reason.
Shawn : Why should I? None of this would have happened if you hadn't mucked around with your Neighborhood and your new ideas. New ideas are gross. They sicken me.
Jason Mendoza : [crosses his arms] Shawn, you used to be cool. But you've changed, man.
-
Michael : What's wrong, Shawn?
Shawn : Okay, fine. Gonna make me admit it. Fighting you is the most fun I've ever had. I mean, you know... you corkscrew your first eyeball and you're like, man, I can't believe they're paying me to do this! By the trillionth, it's like, I should've just been a teacher. And then you go and get the warm fuzzies about your little humans, and something... something changed. I was having fun again. I'm not sure I'm ready for that to end.
Michael : I know, buddy. It's hard when things end. But one way or the other, this is over. The only question is, what's next? I heard your speech at Demon-Con. You know this system stinks. You wouldn't have let me try the original experiment if things were working. Let's try a new way together.