The Good Place (TV Series)
You've Changed, Man (2020)
William Jackson Harper: Chidi Anagonye
Photos
Quotes
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Chidi Anagonye : Imagine someone sells a joint and then gets locked away in a dangerous prison for years. The crime isn't cruel, but the punishment is. That's a problem.
Jason Mendoza : Tell me about it. I once went to jail for a week just because I stole a hot dog. Well, a hot-dog-shaped car. I stole the Weinermobile.
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Chidi Anagonye : Please have a seat, your Honor.
Judge : I already told you, I'm not interested. Give me one reason why I should hear you out.
Janet : Okay. Here he is.
[Timothy Olyphant materializes next to Janet]
Timothy Olyphant : [tips his hat] Ma'am.
Judge : [gleefully] You made me an Olyphant?
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Chidi Anagonye : Can one of you Janets get me a chalkboard and a copy of Judith Shklar's "Ordinary Vices"? Oh, and maybe some warm pretzels? If we're going out, I'm going out with a belly full of warm pretzels. Yummy, yum, yum. Yummy!
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Eleanor Shellstrop : You seem oddly sure, which is unlike you, but... it's kinda doing it for me. Should we get out of here? No, but I like the confidence!
Chidi Anagonye : Well, when you have a thousand different versions of you over multiple timelines fused and instantly placed into your consciousness, it gives you a real sense of clarity.
Michael : [grinning] You saw the Time Knife, didn't you?
Chidi Anagonye : Yep. Saw the Time Knife.
[shrugs]
Chidi Anagonye : It was neat.
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Chidi Anagonye : So anyone who doesn't meet the threshold for the new Medium Place neighborhood is yours for the taking. The Bad Place still has plenty of people to torture.
Shawn : I have to admit, this does make sense. And I like that your side is settling for a crappy deal while my side stays mostly the same. What the hell. I'm in.
Michael : Really?
Shawn : [laughs] No! You actually believed me?
Eleanor Shellstrop : Dude, in 20 minutes, all of humanity is going to be erased forever.
Shawn : And?
Chidi Anagonye : The Bad Place will get emptied out, too. You'll have no one to torture for billions of years. Everyone loses.
Shawn : Oh, I know. But here's the thing: I don't care if everyone loses as long as you lose.
Michael : Shawn, listen to reason.
Shawn : Why should I? None of this would have happened if you hadn't mucked around with your Neighborhood and your new ideas. New ideas are gross. They sicken me.
Jason Mendoza : [crosses his arms] Shawn, you used to be cool. But you've changed, man.