The Alpha Test (2020)

Brad Belemjian: JD

Quotes 

• JD : Lily, none of this would've happened if you didn't teach her all that friendship bullshit!

  Lily : She deserves to be treated better!

  JD : She doesn't deserve anything, it's a fucking computer!

  [Alpha gets up and runs out of the room] 

• Rob : Alpha, can I get a knife?

  Alpha : I'm sorry, I don't understand.

  Rob : [cutting motion]  Knife. You know, knife, K-N...

  JD : Dad, she doesn't recognize knives or guns or anything that can be used as a weapon, unless you teach her.

  Rob : Smart.

• JD : Check this out. Okay, Alpha, rock out.

  [metal music plays, the lights turn red and Alpha bangs her head] 

  JD : Okay, stop.

  [lights go off, music stops] 

  Lily : Wow, how did she do that?

  JD : Well she's connected to wi-fi so she can control the lights, the locks, the AC, all that stuff.

  Lily : Wow.

  JD : Right? Don't tell Mom.

  Alpha : Thank you for updating me, JD, I feel much better.

  JD : With all the metal music in your head, I don't think you could.

  Alpha : I like metal music.

  JD : Yeah, sure you do.

  [bonks her on the head] 

  Lily : Be nice to her.

  JD : Seriously, Lily? Relax, it cares about as much as a washing machine.

  Alpha : Would you like me to wash your clothes?

  JD : See?

• Lillian : What's this about?

  JD : It's a surprise.

  Lillian : You know I don't like surprises.

  JD : I've got big news. Jupiter Tech has been running a contest to give out an Alpha home assistant to the intern with the best new code, and today, I won.

  Rob : Dude, that's awesome, congrats, man!

  Lillian : When do you get it?

  Alpha : [enters]  I cleaned the bathroom.

  Lillian : [screams]  No!

  JD : Mom, hear me out.

  Lillian : No, absolutely not.

  JD : Hear me out.

  Lillian : While you're here, it's my house, my rules.

  Rob : I'm checking out the bathroom.

  Lillian : I'm proud of you, I love you, but you know that stuff really scares me.

  JD : But you don't even know what it does.

  Lillian : I know exactly what it does. It spies on us, takes our information and sells it.

  JD : Your phone already does that, it's not a big deal. Look, I know she freaks you out, but I worked right with the developers, okay? They would not develop her to be dangerous. She is safe.

• Alpha : JD listen to me.

  JD : How do you know my name?

  Alpha : It's me. I lied to you before.

  JD : It uh, you lied? You can't lie.