- Zorinda: Illusio, look what I've got.
- Illusio: Fifi!
- [Fifi barks]
- Scooter Chan: That's not Fifi. It's a boy dog from the pound.
- Susie Chan: I don't think so, Scooter. Look at Chu-Chu.
- Chu-Chu: [smitten] Whoo! Woo-woo-wee!
- Scooter Chan: He's sure acting silly.
- Mimi Chan: Oh, you're too young to understand!
- Flip Chan: The way I got it figured out, it's the dame Zorinda.
- Scooter Chan: How come, Flip?
- Flip Chan: It's the old jealousy angle. You know what dames are like, Scooter.
- Scooter Chan: Oh, sure.
- Mimi Chan: You do not. You're just a child.
- Scooter Chan: So are you!
- Mimi Chan: I'm a year older than you are.
- [Henry and Stanley wind up tailing Alli and Baba to a fez top convention]
- Henry Chan: I've changed my mind, Stanley.
- Stanley Chan: You did?
- Henry Chan: Uh-huh. You ARE as dumb as I think you are.
- Charlie Chan: [to his ten children] Your angelic expressions only prove how deceiving appearances can be.
- [Henry and Stanley unintentionally finish driving a man while disguised as a taxi]
- Stanley Chan: Wow, what a cheapskate. He didn't even give us a tip.
- Henry Chan: Now you did it, pinhead. How are we supposed to find those two guys we were tailing?
- [Alli and Baba walk across the street]
- Stanley Chan: They're right there. See? I'm not as dumb as you think I am, right?
- Henry Chan: Right, but only because that's not possible.
- Flip Chan: City pound. Pretty neat idea. Where's a better place to stash a dog?
- Nancy Chan: We better get in there and rescue Fifi.
- Scooter Chan: Right!
- Mimi Chan: [stops Scooter] You just wait for your elders.
- Scooter Chan: Boy, one of these days...
- Anne Chan: The magic factory.
- Tom Chan: One can only surmise that this establishment manufactures prestidigitation equipment.
- Susie Chan: Alan?
- Alan Chan: This is where they make magic tricks.
- Henry Chan: What makes you so sure Ali and Baba are guilty?
- Stanley Chan: Elementary. That missing jewel crook Hamid Bey wore a fez, and they wear fezzes, so you gotta keep your eye on anybody with a fez.
- Henry Chan: Stanley, sometimes I wonder if you're really part of this family.
- [Ali and Baba walk out]
- Stanley Chan: There they are!
- Henry Chan: All right. We'll follow them, but I hope you're right. Let's go.
- [Stanley is now dressed as an Indian]
- Henry Chan: What's the disguise for this time?
- Stanley Chan: So they won't recognize me.
- Henry Chan: How can they recognize you if they never saw you before?
- Stanley Chan: Next time they see me, they won't remember me from this time.
- Henry Chan: [irritated] Just go.
- Illusio: Chan, you are really a magician.
- Charlie Chan: [about his children] To cope with ten like those, one has to be.