- Hilda Crocker: [Rubbing Matt's chest to make him feel better] Where's the pain?
- Matt Henshaw: Pain? I don't really have a pain. Well, first I'm hot, then I'm cold. Then I'm hot. Then I'm cold. You ever get that feeling?
- Hilda Crocker: Once. When I got stuck between my stove and my refrigerator.
- Ruth Henshaw: How is Gladys feeling today?
- Pete Porter: Oh, she's okay. But we had a little fight this morning.
- Ruth Henshaw: Pete, you shouldn't upset Gladys. She has enough on her mind with the baby coming and all.
- Pete Porter: Well, everything I say seems to upset her. I just made a simple little remark.
- Ruth Henshaw: What did you say?
- Pete Porter: I just said that if the baby looks like her mother, couldn't we leave it in the hospital until it's old enough for plastic surgery!
- Ruth Henshaw: Pete! I don't blame Gladys for getting angry. You're taking the whole thing too lightly. After all, a baby is the most wonderful gift a girl can give her husband.
- Pete Porter: Oh, I don't know. If Gladys really cared, she'd give me a set of golf clubs.