Raj Koothrappali: [the time machine prop Leonard bought is life-size] Did the listing actually say "miniature"?
Leonard Hofstadter: I just assumed. Well, who sells a full-sized time machine for $800?
Sheldon Cooper: In a Venn diagram, that would be an individual located within the intersection of the sets "No longer want my time machine" and "Need $800".
Howard Wolowitz: It's actually a tremendous bargain. Even with shipping, it works out to less than $4 a pound.
Raj Koothrappali: Cocktail shrimp are $12.50.
Leonard Hofstadter: How are we gonna get it upstairs?
Howard Wolowitz: If we take the dish off, it might fit in the elevator.
Leonard Hofstadter: Yes, but the elevator's been broken for two years.
Sheldon Cooper: I've been meaning to ask you: do you think we should make a call about that?
Howard Wolowitz: Not necessary. I have a master's in engineering. I remotely repair satellites on a regular basis. I troubleshoot space shuttle payloads.
[Howard walks over to the elevator]
Howard Wolowitz: When the Mars Rover started pulling to the left, I performed a front-end alignment from 62 million miles away.
[Howard presses the elevator call button, then puts his ear to the elevator doors]
Howard Wolowitz: [walking back to the group] No, that baby's broken.