- Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: It was love at first sight. He was tall, he was handsome, his trapezius muscles rippled through his shirt.
- Riley Freeman: Alright, Granddad, damn, you're making me uncomfortable.
- Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: Catcher Freeman was a sexy man!
- Huey Freeman: [checking the internet to find the truth about Catcher Freeman] Excuse me, everyone. I think we can resolve this quickly. Catcher Tobias Lynchwater, better known as Catcher Freeman, was a house slave on Colonel Lynchwater's plantation. He was also Colonel Lynchwater's son, although the Colonel never claimed him.
- Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: Wait, what? Master's son? Uh uh. No, no, no, that can't be!
- Huey Freeman: He is believed to have written the first screenplay in secret, several years before the invention of the motion picture industry.
- Uncle Ruckus: What website is that? MadeUpMonkeyShit.com?
- Riley Freeman: See, that's your problem. You believe in anything somebody tells you or put in a book. See, I keep my mental mind extra secure. Nuttin' gets in.