Monk (TV Series)
Mr. Monk and the Bully (2009)
Jason Gray-Stanford: Lieutenant Randy Disher
Quotes
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Lt. Randall Disher : How do we tell them apart?
[Marilyn coughs up water]
Lt. Randall Disher : Say "aunt."
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Randy, let's arrest the one that wasn't drowning.
-
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : So identical twins, huh? That's one for the books.
Lt. Randall Disher : Yeah I'm pretty sure I said twins.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : No, Randy, you always say twins.
-
Lt. Randall Disher : [briefing Monk and Natalie on a murder victim at a crime scene] His name is Douglas J. Fendle, or rather was Douglas J. Fendle, I guess it still is, but doesn't matter. Let's move on.
[refers to his notebook]
Lt. Randall Disher : He was 37, unmarried, from Chicago. Mr. Fendle was an attorney, he worked at a small law firm, Shellman, Reznick & Link, mostly family law, wills, adoptions...
[he looks up at Monk]
Lt. Randall Disher : Are you okay?
Adrian Monk : Dynamite.
Lt. Randall Disher : Yeah, so are you, uh, going to look around?
Adrian Monk : Yeah, yeah, sure.
[He looks around the scene as Disher continues reading from his notes]
Lt. Randall Disher : Listen, I talked to his boss. She said he was on vacation and didn't even know he was here.
Adrian Monk : Hmmm, interesting.
Lt. Randall Disher : According to the clerk, he checked in three days ago. He kept to himself. Housekeeping found the body this morning. Dr. T puts the time of death at 8:00 or 9:00 PM last night.
[pauses as Monk takes a flower out of one of the room vases]
Lt. Randall Disher : He was stabbed three times.
Adrian Monk : Ouch.
[Natalie looks at him disapprovingly]
Natalie Teeger : Mr. Monk!
Lt. Randall Disher : There was money still in his pocket, so it wasn't a robbery.
Adrian Monk : No, it wasn't a robbery.
Lt. Randall Disher : And, uh, there was no forced entry. He let the guy in. I think he knew him.
Adrian Monk : [chuckling] I think he did too. I think you're right.
[Natalie pulls him aside]
Natalie Teeger : Excuse me! Let me talk to you for a minute, please.
[She walks him over to another point in the room]
Natalie Teeger : Do you think Roderick Brody did this?
[Monk gives her a look that means "maybe"]
Natalie Teeger : Well he said he didn't believe us.
Adrian Monk : Apparently he reconsidered.
Natalie Teeger : Well that's horrible. A man is dead.
Adrian Monk : Yean, I know, and that's murder in the first degree, and you know what that means: prison swirlies.
-
[Roderick Brody is being questioned at the police station]
Roderick Brody : You didn't have to drag me down here. You could've talked to me in my office.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Well I'm more comfortable here. I got my own coffee mug. I've got the AC set just the way I like it.
Roderick Brody : Yeah, but can I at least call my wife?
Lt. Randall Disher : Well we already called her. She's on her way.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : So let's start at the beginning. You knew Mr. Monk from the neighborhood. You hired him to follow your wife, he told you about Mr. Fendle, told you about Fendle and the hotel...
-
Adrian Monk : [to Natalie] You were right about karma. It is *fantastic*.
Natalie Teeger : No, Mr. Monk-
[Captain Stottlemeyer enters the room]
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Monk, Natalie. Thank you so much for coming. I was just doing a bit of dumpster diving down there. Can't find the murder weapon. There is a steak knife missing from that service tray. I guess he took it with him. So, what do you think?
[Monk looks like he wants to withhold something]
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : You okay?
[Monk blushes]
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Are you happy?
Adrian Monk : I love my work. Is that a crime?
[Randy whispers to Stottlemeyer]
Lt. Randall Disher : I think they knew the guy.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : What? You know this guy?
[gestures towards the bedroom and Fendle's dead body]
Adrian Monk : No, not technically...
Natalie Teeger : Never met him face to face.
Adrian Monk : ...We've sort of been following him.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : You were following him? I wonder why.
Adrian Monk : Well he was seeing a woman, a married woman, and we were following her.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : You were following the woman? I wonder why.
Natalie Teeger : Her husband hired us.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Until you hear different, I wonder why. Wh-what are you doing? You, you doing divorce work now?
Natalie Teeger : He was just doing a favor. He was an old friend of Mr. Monk's.
Adrian Monk : Wouldn't exactly say friend. More of an acquaintance, actually. He beat me up every day for three years.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : And that would explain the stupid grin you have on your face. You think you're getting even.
Adrian Monk : I know I'm getting even.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : So, your pal - you told your pal about Fendle. And you told him that Fendle was going to be here?
[Monk's lips seem to read "yes"]
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Well, I think your friend just made the top of my "To Do" List. What's his name?
Natalie Teeger : Actually we can't tell you that. It's privilaged information. We could contact a third party or a lawyer...
[Monk cuts her off]
Adrian Monk : Roderick Brody. 23 Orchard Circle.
[Disher starts to write down the name and address]
Adrian Monk : No that looks like an "A". B-R-O-D-Y, Roderick Brody.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Well let's go talk to him.
[They file out, and Monk whispers to Natalie]
Adrian Monk : Prison swirlies.