- Jackson Stewart: [as Ozzy Osbourne] Listen... L - l - listen! Ehhh... listen...
- Barney Bittman: I'm listening!
- Jackson Stewart: ...well?
- Barney Bittman: You didn't say anything!
- Jackson Stewart: Oh... yes. Well... well, there's a party... at my house... come on!
- Barney Bittman: But wait a minute! I have to review Hannah Montana!
- Jackson Stewart: But Sharon's making guaca- guaca- guaca... very colorful stuff... very delicious...
- Uncle Earl: Remember when I was the hot one?
- Lilly Truscott: He was the hot one?
- Jackson Stewart: No, it's true, Uncle Earl was the prom king and dad had the unibrow.
- Robbie Stewart: Sexiest unibrow in Bruford county.
- Robbie Stewart: What's the worst thing he could say?
- Jackson Stewart: Well how about, Hannah Montana, what did that poor state ever do to you?
- Robbie Stewart: Why don't I just change the channel?
- Oliver Oken: Hey I think "Are You Dumber Than a Dog" is on.
- Lilly Truscott: Oh yeah, it'll be much more fun watching Oliver lose to the beagle again.
- Oliver Oken: That dog was coached.
- Lilly Truscott: [while carrying in box with Oliver] Hey, Uncle Earl... what's this?
- Uncle Earl: Oh, that's Cuddle's twinkle box.
- Lilly Truscott: Eww! Eww! Eww!
- Oliver Oken: Oh, you are such a wimp.
- Lilly Truscott: [lifts up tinkle box so it's pointing towards Oliver] Take it back! Take it back!
- Oliver Oken: Ugh! It's getting on me... it's getting on me... ugh it's seeping through my clothes!