How I Met Your Mother (TV Series)

No Tomorrow (2008)

Neil Patrick Harris: Barney Stinson

Photos 

Quotes 

• Barney Stinson : [On the phone]  Come on, Ted. It's your last night on Earth. You really want to spend it with Marshall and Lily?

  Marshall Eriksen : My hands smell weird. Here, smell.

  Lily Aldrin : [Smells his hands]  You're right, that's new.

  Ted Mosby : [to Barney]  I'll be there in five minutes.

• Barney Stinson : Ted, you have to live like there's no tomorrow, because there is no tomorrow. The world is coming to an end. As predicted by Nostradamus. Notre Dame. Fighting Irish. Irish. Saint Patrick's Day. It's your last day on Earth, Bro. Brocopalypse now. Bromaggedon.

• Ashlee : I'm Ashlee, with two E's.

  Barney Stinson : Please. Two C's at most.

• Barney : Unacceptable! That's *so* not Raven!

• Barney Stinson : Come on, it's not like she has children.

  Ted Mosby : How do you know she doesn't?

  Barney Stinson : Wrists. It's like you don't even know me.

• Ted Mosby : How do you know she's from a different area code?

  Barney Stinson : She's 5-1-6! She might dress like she's 7-1-8, act like she's 2-1-2, but trust me... she's 5-1-6! Oh and her husband letting her out alone on St. Pattie's Day, if that dude's not 9-7-3. I'm 3-0-7!

• Barney : Ted, listen, are you hearing that? That's the universe, the universe is talking to us.

  Ted : We don't have to build a baseball field do we?

• Barney Stinson : [wearing a green suit]  Who wants to kiss the Barney Stone?

  Lily Aldrin : Hey, look. It's the Riddler.

  Marshall Eriksen : No, that's Gumby. Later, can we tie you in a knot?

• Barney Stinson : Let's drink green beer! Let's do green Jell-o shots! Where's your Saint Patrick's Day spirit?

  Lily Aldrin : We're drinking green tea.

  Marshall Eriksen : With caffeine.

• Barney Stinson : [to Ted]  Open your brain-tank "bra", 'cause here comes some premium 91 octane knowledge! There's three rules of cheating: It's not cheating if you're not the one who's married. It's not cheating if her name had two adjacent vowels, and it's not cheating if she's from a different area code. You're fine on all three counts.

• Ted : Barney, I'm starting to think about that theory.

  Barney : Ted, if you want to know how old a woman is check her elbows.

  Ted : Not that theory.

  Barney : Oh, you have to be more clear. I have so many theories.

• Angry Guy : [In the middle of kissing a girl when someone tugs him by the shoulder from behind and he turns to face him]  We have a problem.

  Barney Stinson : [stands in between them]  Hey! Hey... Hey!

  [Walks in between and past them] 

  Ted Mosby : [looks to Ashlee]  Is this your husband?

  Ashlee : I've never seen this man in my life.

  Ted Mosby : [Looks back to him]  Okay... what's our problem?

  Angry Guy : Heheheh... Rick, Rick Garrido. According to the bartender, I'm the guy who's been buying you champagne all night.

  Ted Mosby : Okay, there's a very simple explanation...

  [He punches Ted square in his left eye and the scene goes black for a moment]