- Katy Perry - Host: [introducing Pink] Boys! You mess with this one, she'll drive her motorcycle right through your front door! She'll drink all your bear, arm-wrestle your mom and shave your dog!
- Katy Perry - Host: So I saw the lead singer of this next band backstage just now and I couldn't remember her name. So I called her Hell but she didn't react. So I called her Stacey, 'Hey Stace!' Still no response. So I called her Her, 'What up, Her!' Nothing, she just ignored me. I called her Jane but that's not her name. Apparently it's Katie, I should've remembered that one. This is my favourite band of 2008 - Liverpool, it's the Ting Tings!
- Jared Leto: I'm sitting here, I kinda think of it as the dessert for the evening; we've had great appetizers, we had wonderful main course in Bono and Paul McCartney, and now we have the most delicious dessert - I don't mean to be fresh! - here in Leona Lewis, ladies and gentlemen.
- Leona Lewis - Presenter: Hello!
- Jared Leto: I don't know what I'm doing. And there's Katy Perry and Pink right behind us; this is a lot of woman for a very small space... kinda like a fantasy or two I may have had.
- Jared Leto: Are you ready for this?
- Unsuspecting Civilian: [about to drink the Ting Tings' cocktail] I'm nervous.
- Jared Leto: I would be very nervous and call your doctor immediately.
- Jared Leto: Craig, what comes first - the music or the lyrics? This is a chicken and the egg kind of question.
- Craig David - Presenter: What a great place to ask in the home of the Beatles, Lennon and McCartney... To be honest, if you haven't got great melody then there's no lyrics to write so I'd have to say melody, then you wanna discover the lyrics. So... that's my take.
- Jared Leto: Yeah. Thank you for the answer actually, that was really nice to hear something that mentally touched me deep in the heart...
- Craig David - Presenter: I could see it in your eyes!
- Jared Leto: ...and in my, I'm not gonna say in the groin, but it did touch me in a lot of places.
- Random guy: [leans over the VIP couch] Who you talking to?
- Jared Leto: None of your business there, buddy! Sorry, that's my dad. He comes every year and just, you know, embarrasses me.
- Jared Leto: Every year we support a good cause, and this year it's the Staying Alive Foundation, so here to tell us a little bit more and give us some sex ed tits, I mean tips; our three furry friends, right here.
- Katy Perry - Host: [after winning Best New Act] Thank you guys so much, I'm so happy to be here! Last year I was sitting in my bedroom, heating up mac and cheese and watching this on the television, so you can do it too!
- Jared Leto: [to Take That] I gotta say you're one of the most handsome bands I've ever seen in my entire effing life. I get it ladies, I understand.
- Jared Leto: I know you're a Detroit guy. Tomo is a Detroit guy himself, right Tomo? I'm a Louisiana boy like my brother, but for some reason I think you're a Louisiana boy too. I don't know what it is, maybe I just wanna claim ya, you seem like a good old boy to me, and I kinda want you to be my big brother or my dad! I don't know what it is but I love you Kid Rock, I love you!
- Kid Rock - Performer: I love you too, man.
- Jared Leto: So, I'm sitting here with one of the legends of rock and roll. He is a god among men, a king in his time. I don't call him Kid Rock when I'm in the UK, I call him Sir or Lord, but you may know him as Kid Rock!
- [audience cheers]
- Jared Leto: I kinda felt like I was in the World Wrestling Federation for a second, but it was kind of fun.