Kevin James isn't without talent. His years spent on The King of Queens were entertaining, and for a certain demographic, provided exactly what the doctor ordered. Translating to the big screen, James had a memorable performance in Hitch, while seeming to pull enough likability and charm out of roles in movies such as The Dilemma and Paul Blart: Mall Cop.
The latter, Paul Blart, was a monster hit, winning the box office in its opening weekend with $32 Million, despite being barely watchable. Zookeeper follows in this same tradition, with James doing his best to act within a poorly directed, poorly executed, lackluster effort that disappoints for both kids and adults.
Kevin James plays Griffin, a zookeeper who excels at his position. Though he loves his work, a failed proposal to Stephanie (Leslie Bibb) in the opening sequence, causes Griffin to consistently wonder what his life would be like with the girl he wants, instead of the job he loves. When Stephanie comes back into his life five years later, Griffin is determined to get Stephanie back, despite the consequences of changing himself, the life he loves, and the job he was born to do.
Leslie Bibb puts a lot of her comedic chops to work in a role with no meat on the bone. Her Stephanie is a one note song, but Bibb manages to make her seem as if he she has motivations that are somewhat sincere, if utterly wrong for Griffin. Despite Bibb's best efforts, the writing never lets her character escape past her cheap plot device: to give Griffin a catharsis that he doesn't have to change who he is to find love.
Where will he find that love? In fellow co-worker Kate (Rosario Dawson) of course. As Kate, a vet who works with Griffin, Dawson also brings loads of personality and charisma to a character that is about as interesting as a dissertation on Guam's current economic import/export climate (no offense to anyone in Guam, or the import/export game for that matter).
Gauging Zookeeper is best done by relating it to its peers. Dr. Dolittle, which carries much more similarities than the talking animal aspect, was a much more concise and well constructed effort than Zookeeper ever has a chance of becoming. While the animals in Dr. Dolittle are able to provide more than canned laughter for adults, their action provided visual stimulus to keep the kids happy throughout the runtime. Dr. Dolittle also lets the animals do most of the physical comedy, which proves to be the most effective method to reach kids (and adults for that matter).
Another production of similar value is Night at the Museum (which I personally hated). At least Night at the Museum had the decency to get into the meat of the action within a few minutes. Part of the real issue with Zookeeper is how long it takes to actually get to the animals talking. Then, once they do, they don't do much else except talk. Then, when they talk, most of the humor is above the kids, and embarrassingly devoid of anything adults will find of value. The dialog as bland and pointless as it gets.
For example, Adam Sandler plays the monkey who essentially screams, "Throw poop at her!" for minutes at a time. Other animals don't provide much else, except for horrible dating advice, which proves to be the shtick for the middle act. While James is able to get something out of these gags, even his physical comedy can't save the bits from being dry and without a point or reason. Zookeeper doesn't use the crux of the entire movie-- the animals talking -- to actually further the plot or advance a character, proving to be one of the cardinal sins it commits.
When Zookeeper finally wraps up the first grade reading level of a plot (honestly, Curious George books feels like a convoluted thriller compared to Zookeeper), there's really no point to have gone on the journey. Zookeeper is a sloppy and apathetic effort in every aspect, including cinematography, costume design, set design, and, oh yea, plot, humor, and message.
Overall: For the adult in the audience, Zookeeper will provide a few grins, interlaced with moments of disengagement, irritation, scoffing, and finally sleep induced drooling. For kids, Zookeeper takes nearly thirty minutes to get the animals talking, and once they do, they don't do anything but attempt to entertain the adults.
Despite concerted efforts from Kevin James, Rosario Dawson, and Leslie Bibb, Zookeeper cages itself from the outset.
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