- Lance Cpl. Harold James Trombley: Sergeant, I didn't get to shoot!
- Cpl. Josh Ray Person: That fucking sucks, Trombley. Did your recruiting officer tell you you'd get to shoot people?
- Lance Cpl. Harold James Trombley: Fucking A he did!
- Cpl. Josh Ray Person: See, Trombley asked about shooting people. I asked about pussy. The guy told me I'd get to go to Thailand and get all kinds of strange. What'd you ask about, Brad? Brad probably saw that T.V. commercial, the one with the knight that fucks up the dragon that turns into the Marine.
- Cpl. Walt Hasser: Woo woo! Dress blues with a sword!
- Cpl. Josh Ray Person: Fucking dress blues commercial man. That got so many fucking dudes. Now look at us: Trombley hasn't killed anybody, I'm half a world away from good Thai pussy, and Colbert is out here rolling around fuckbutt Iraq hunting for dragons in a MOPP suit that smells like four days of piss and ball sweat.
- Cpl. Josh Ray Person: Man, I am so high from not sleeping. So check this out. Maybe they didn't issue the wrong color fatigues for the invasion. Maybe our blouses actually aren't green. Maybe they are desert beige. You know, like, sometimes, colors actually start to look different when you're so sleep deprived? Like the sun, it looks red, when it actually is yellow. You know, maybe our blouses aren't green. We're just so fucking sleep deprived that that's the way that they look to us.
- Sgt. Brad 'Iceman' Colbert: Are you making this up?
- Cpl. Josh Ray Person: Fuck yeah, I'm making this up. Passes the time, brother!
- Maj. Gen. James 'Chaos' Mattis: The question here is, why the fuck am I standing here looking at a fucking bridge that doesn't have my Marines rolling accross it?... Not only "no," Colonel. But, "fuck, no," okay? I don't give a rat's ass about the resistance in this city. Your mission is to punch through this city, put RCT One north of it where our objectives are. This is just a fucking sideshow; you have seven-thousand Marine riflemen who have been ready to go for the past twenty-four hours, and you're staying here with your foot in your dick. No, check that! Not your dick; my dick!
- Cpl. Josh Ray Person: [about Baptista] He's not even a citizen. He snuck in from whatever greaseball country he's from and now he's a marine. You know, there should be at least some grammar tests before you're out here, blowing shit up with heavy weapons.
- Sgt. Brad 'Iceman' Colbert: If they did that, fucking buck-toothed, cross-eyed, sister fucking hicks like you wouldn't get in either.
- Lance Cpl. Harold James Trombley: You got something against marriage, sarge?
- Cpl. Josh Ray Person: Brad got dumped.
- Sgt. Brad 'Iceman' Colbert: My sweetheart since junior high dumps me and marries my best friend since junior high. And the best part about it? We're still all friends. They're that kind of happy couple that likes to hang photos of themselves all over their goddamn house. Sometimes I just go over there to see my ex-fiancee doing the things that I used to do with her with my best friends. It's nice having friends.
- Doc Bryan: Where did we get that so-called translator?
- Lt. Nathaniel Fick: He told me he worked for General Mattis.
- Evan 'Scribe' Wright: He told me he worked for the CIA.
- Sgt. Brad 'Iceman' Colbert: Back at Mathilda, he said he could hook me up with a free satellite TV.
- Cpl. Josh Ray Person: [to Brad] I see foot-mobiles. 12 o'clock, a 100 metres. Damn! Brad! They're fucking hotties! I didn't know hajis could be hotties. I thought they were all camel-faced hags.
- [to the haji hotties]
- Cpl. Josh Ray Person: As-salaam alaykum, ladies.
- [to Brad]
- Cpl. Josh Ray Person: Damn, homey. Better than when I was in my band!
- Sgt. Brad 'Iceman' Colbert: 'Cause they haven't heard you play.
- Maj. Gen. James 'Chaos' Mattis: God Father, hold your Marines back for now. When Colonel Dowdy here sees fit to unfuck himself and punch through this fucking shithole, I turn First Recon loose.
- Cpl. Josh Ray Person: So check this. Maybe our cammies aren't really green. Maybe we're so sleep deprived that we actually never noticed that it's desert beige. You know how sometimes things look different when you're so tired? Like the sun. It looks red when it's actually yellow.
- Lance Cpl. Harold James Trombley: How about James Alvarez Trombley?
- Cpl. Josh Ray Person: That's stupid.
- Lance Cpl. Harold James Trombley: You're stupid!
- Sgt. Antonio 'Poke' Espera: What's the population?
- Lt. Nathaniel Fick: About 400,000.
- Sgt. Antonio 'Poke' Espera: [after explosion goes off in nearby town] Scratch a few off of that number.
- Maj. Gen. James 'Chaos' Mattis: God Father, hold your Marines back for now. When Colonel Dowdy here sees fit to unfuck himself and punch through this fucking shithole, I'll turn First Recon loose.
- Lance Cpl. Harold James Trombley: Sargent, I didn't get to shoot.
- Cpl. Josh Ray Person: That fucking sucks Trombley, did your recruiting officer tell you'd get to shoot people?
- Lance Cpl. Harold James Trombley: Fucking A he did.
- Cpl. Josh Ray Person: See Trombley asked about shooting people. I asked about pussy, the guy told me I'd get to go to Thailand and get all kinds of strange. What did you ask about Brad?
- Cpl. Josh Ray Person: Brad probably saw that TV-commercial, the one with the knight that fucks up the dragon then turns into a marine.
- Cpl. James Chaffin: Whohoo, dress blues with a sword!
- Cpl. Josh Ray Person: Fucking dress blues commercial, that got so many fucking guys. And now look at us! Trombley hasn't killed anybody, I am half a world away for good tight pussy, and Colbert is out here rolling around fuck butt Iraq hunting for dragons in a MOPP suit that smells like 4 days of piss and ball sweat.
- Cpl. Josh Ray Person: You should have rolled into combat with a sword Brad, that would have fucking rocked.
- Sgt. Brad 'Iceman' Colbert: Man, I am so high from not sleeping... So check this out. Maybe they didn't issue the wrong color fatigues for the invasion. Maybe our blouses actually aren't green. Maybe they are desert beige. You know, like, sometimes, colors actually start to look different when you're so sleep deprived? Like the sun, it looks red, when it actually is yellow. You know, maybe our blouses aren't green. We're just so fucking sleep deprived that that's the way that they look to us.
- Cpl. Josh Ray Person: [looks at him weird] Are you making this up?
- Sgt. Brad 'Iceman' Colbert: Fuck yeah, I'm making this up. Passes the time, brother!