Generation Kill (TV Mini Series)

Screwby (2008)

Alexander Skarsgård: Sgt. Brad 'Iceman' Colbert

Quotes 

• Lt. Nathaniel Fick : Present for you. LSA. Scammed some off the guys in RCT-1.

  Sgt. Brad 'Iceman' Colbert : Sir, not to get homoerotic about this, but I could kiss you.

• Sgt. Brad 'Iceman' Colbert : Gentlemen, we just seized an airfield. That was pretty fucking ninja.

• Cpl. Josh Ray Person : I mean seriously, homes, why would our Iraqi brethren want 400 pounds of C-4, claymores and crates of M-16s? I mean, it just doesn't make any sense. Oh, wait! You know, they could be using all that C-4 for, like, a giant 4th of July celebration. What do you think, Brad?

  Sgt. Brad 'Iceman' Colbert : I think it's time for you to shut the fuck up.

• Sgt. Brad 'Iceman' Colbert : If they'd stick around and manned those we'd have been dead before we've even saw.

  Cpl. Josh Ray Person : Dude... lighten up.

  Sgt. Brad 'Iceman' Colbert : Then again the world wouldn't have to deal with the prospect of you returning to your cretinous, daughter fucking, trailer park, red state shithole, and producing mutant, whiskey tango, scrotum faced, buck toothed, zit exploding progeny.

• [while driving in the dark, looking for a turn in the road] 

  Cpl. Josh Ray Person : Hey, do you remember the gay dog episode of South Park? The one where, uh, Sparky runs away 'cause he's humping all those other dogs and shit?

  Sgt. Brad 'Iceman' Colbert : [tiredly]  Yes, Ray, I... I do remember it very well. But I don't see what relevance this has to our present status.

  Cpl. Josh Ray Person : There's the hamlet. Our turn.

  [he turns the Humvee] 

  Sgt. Brad 'Iceman' Colbert : [into the radio]  Hitman Two, this is Two-One. We're makin' that turn now, over.

  Lt. Nathaniel Fick : [on the radio]  Roger that. Nice job, over.

  Cpl. Josh Ray Person : Hey, Brad? Do your Big Gay Al for me.

  [Colbert doesn't answer] 

  Cpl. Josh Ray Person : Come on, buddy! Do it for your old pal Ray. The one who made the right turn?

  Sgt. Brad 'Iceman' Colbert : [lisping flamboyantly]  "Well, helloooo there, little pup! I'm Big Gay Al. Have you been outcatht?"

  Cpl. Josh Ray Person : [laughing]  Fuck yeah.

  Lance Cpl. Harold James Trombley : They had this gay bar open up in the town where I'm from in Michigan, and people trashed it every night. They had to close it after a month.

  Cpl. Josh Ray Person : See, but there's money in that, Trombley. Did I tell you I'm gonna open my own gay bar when I get back home? It's gonna be called The Golden Stream, and it's gonna be, like, this big urinal, right? And there's gonna be this two-way mirror that everybody pisses against. That way, when you're sitting at the bar having drinks, there's, like, all these big fuckin' giant cocks just pissing right at you.

  Lance Cpl. Harold James Trombley : Corporal, are you a faggot?

  Cpl. Josh Ray Person : You know what? I'm gonna franchise that shit. You can have Michigan, Trombley. Very lucrative territory, homosexually speaking.

  Lance Cpl. Harold James Trombley : That's not funny, Corporal Person.

  Sgt. Brad 'Iceman' Colbert : Ray, give it a rest.

• Gunnery Sgt. Ray 'Casey Kasem' Griego : Sergeant, yesterday we had a trial by fire. I want you to know, Brad, that I'm here for you and your men. Are there any combat stress reactions anyone needs to talk about? Remember, I'm certified combat stress instructor.

  Sgt. Brad 'Iceman' Colbert : No, we're good, Gunny. But we would be a lot better if you were getting us the gun lube and batteries we need. That might do it for my combat stress.