My Name Is Earl (TV Series)

Monkeys Take a Bath (2008)

Jaime Pressly: Joy Turner

Photos 

Quotes 

• [playing an IQ game] 

  Joy Turner : I swear to God, I used to be able to do this drunk when I was little.

• Earl Hickey : I've decided to forgive you for cheating on me.

  Joy Turner : Good, 'cause I'd do it again.

• Kay Hickey : [Sitting in the bar with Randy]  I know it was wrong. I do. But it's not like he didn't push me there. He was never home. And when he was well, let's just say your father does not know his way around a woman's body.

  [Randy has panic in his eye] 

  Kay Hickey : He's got two moves: Squeeze-the-Charmin and Poke-Around-Down-There like he's trying to pop a balloon.

  [Gesticulating to emphasize Carl's "moves"] 

  Randy Hickey : [Looking very ill]  Yeah that guy sure is bad at touchin' moms. Hey, I know what might make us feel better.

  [Desperately trying to change the subject] 

  Randy Hickey : Not talking about this stuff.

  Kay Hickey : [Oblivious]  I mean, what do I have to do? Draw him a map of my vagina?

  Randy Hickey : [On the word: vagina. Randy flings his beer bottle over his shoulder smashing it against the wall]  Oops...

  [Looking ill] 

  Randy Hickey : I'll go get us more drinks.

  [Rushes to the bar stage left] 

  Kay Hickey : Ok. I'm gonna tinkle.

  [Completely oblivious to Randy's distress: Kay exits the scene, stage left] 

  Joy Turner : [Randy sits down at bar beside Joy]  Randy, you look stressed... what's the matter, Punkin'? Any words on the menu you're stuck on?

  Randy Hickey : [Cautiously checks for eavesdroppers]  If I tell you, you promise not to say anything?

  [Joy is suddenly very interested] 

  Joy Turner : [Slamming the bathroom door against the wall, Joy enters]  Well! Well! Well!

  [Flash to terrified Kay on toilet] 

  Joy Turner : Fee! Fie! Fum! Fo! I smell the stank of a stank-ass ho.

  Kay Hickey : [Bending over to look under the stall wall]  Oh! God!

  Joy Turner : [Rapidly]  Who's the cheatin-piece-of-trash-stumpet-who-doesn't-deserve-to-have-the-same-last-name-as-you, now! That's right. I read your Christmas letters.

  Kay Hickey : [Pitifully pleading]  Leave me alone!

  Joy Turner : [Camera angle is above the stall and looking down on Kay as Joy pokes her head under the stall to confide with Kay face-to-face]  I'm just saying, we might have gotten along if we'd known we both can't be satisfied by Hickey men.

  Kay Hickey : I am nothing like you!

  [Raises her right foot and slams her heel into Joy's face] 

  Joy Turner : [Reeling in pain, Joy crumples on the bathroom floor]  OW! Damn it! You got me whichyer heel!

  Kay Hickey : [Kay indignantly marches out of the stall as Joy winces in pain]  Maybe I had one moment of weakness! But, You! You make cheating a lifestyle! I love my husband! He does the best he can!

  [Leaving Joy on the floor - Kay marches out] 

  Joy Turner : [Camera pans up to the dirty bathroom mirror as the reflection of Joy's face wincing in pain slowly appears]  Oh...

  [Lifting up her bangs reveals a bloody crescent shape in the center of her forehead] 

  Joy Turner : Great...

  [shouting] 

  Joy Turner : Darnell! Get me a rag! Somebody kicked me in the face in the baffroom again!