- Self - Host: [hearing some intense music going on outside] What is that? Come on. Let's find out what this is out here in the alley.
- [goes outside]
- Self - Host: Hey, it's Branford Marsalis!
- [wild applause]
- Branford Marsalis: That Patty! She not only stole the S.A.T. scores, she stole my saxophone! She's on the island of reggae rhythms. Start your search up in the Blue Mountains. They grow some of the world's best coffee there. If the trail goes cold, then try Dunns River Falls. Good luck, and find my horn!
- Self - Host: Okay, thanks, Branford.
- [more applause]
- Self - Host: [heading back into the studio] Man, Branford Marsalis right out there in the alley!
- Self - Host: [to the chief, after she translated a file clue for him] You know, you are my everything, you know that?
- Patty Larceny: [during the Phone Tap] Carmen, help! Where should I go next?
- Carmen Sandiego: Head for the Nagoya or the Kanazowas. Some of the high school kids are going through what they call examination hell.
- Patty Larceny: Ew! Sounds yucky. What is it?
- Carmen Sandiego: They take a series of difficult tests to get into top universities. Many of them spends lots of yen per year on special test cramming schools after their regular school day ends.
- Patty Larceny: Wow, no fun! But, couldn't they call it examination heck?
- Carmen Sandiego: Just get going!
- Self - Host: Wait a second. I'm sensing something here. The words 'loud and clear' just popped into my head. I don't know... Oh!
- [senses something is coming up on the monitor and adjusts the switch]
- Crystal the Teenage Spirit Medium: I said you're coming in loud and clear! This is Crystal the Teenage Spirit Medium. I'm getting mental transmissions from around Patty Larceny. Lots of school spirit. Universities called Oxford and Cambridge. Patty's really confused. Public school, private school, public, private... oh, I get it. What they call public school, we call private school! Weird. This is Crystal the Teenage Spirit Medium fading out!
- Mrs. Pumpkin-Klanger: [calling from offscreen] What the devil is wrong with you down there?
- Self - Host: It's my upstairs neighbor, Mrs. Pumpkin-Klanger. Check this out.
- [goes out into the alley]
- Self - Host: Hi, Mrs. P.
- Mrs. Pumpkin-Klanger: Haven't you found that awful little Patty yet? She's taken the test scores to Dakar. That's the mainland African city closest to South America. Anyone can go to college there for free- if you pass the entrance exam. Now, get out of that dismal office and find her. Heh!
- [slams down the window]
- Self - Host: Okay, thanks.
- [goes back inside]
- Self - Host: I kind of though the office was, you know, pretty cheery.
- The Chief: [during a slide show about Rio de Janeiro] Now, Brazilians love soccer. Check out Maracanã Stadium, the largest in the world. It accommodates as many as two hundred thousand people! Huh! That's more than the population of Lubbock, Texas!
- The Chief: [still during the slide show] Modern Art Museum. Ah, art. You know, it reminds me of my Uncle Garrett. He's an artist. He used to say, "all my paintings have a common theme." And for years, you know, I tried to figure out what it was. I loved his work. Let's see, there was: "Farmer with Tractor", "Three Maidens Bathing near a Tractor", and, of course, "Two Tractor Sharing a Moment". I never did find that theme, though.