The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)
The Financial Permeability (2009)
Jim Parsons: Sheldon Cooper
Photos
Quotes
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Sheldon Cooper : In case either of you have larceny in your heart, you should know that I have moved my money out of the snake can.
Leonard Hofstadter : But if you're ever short, there's always a couple of fifties in Green Lantern's ass.
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Howard Wolowitz : Okay, I guess we only have one option.
Rajesh Koothrappali : Yepp, I don't see any way around it.
Leonard Hofstadter : Bye, Sheldon.
Howard Wolowitz : See ya.
Rajesh Koothrappali : Later, dude.
[All exit, leaving Sheldon alone]
Sheldon Cooper : They're right. It was the only option.
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Sheldon Cooper : I don't see any large upcoming expenditures unless they develop an affordable technology to fuse my skeleton with adamantium like Wolverine.
Penny : Are they working on that?
Sheldon Cooper : I sincerely hope so.
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Leonard Hofstadter : Hey, Penny. How's work.
Penny : [sarcastically] Great! I hope I'm a waitress at the Cheescake Factory for my whole life!
Sheldon Cooper : Was that sarcasm?
Penny : [still sarcastically] No.
Sheldon Cooper : Was *that* sarcasm?
Penny : [honestly] Yes.
Sheldon Cooper : Was that sarcasm?
Leonard Hofstadter : Stop it!
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Penny : Okay. Well, thank you. Oh, God, no, I can't. Sheldon honey, I don't want things to be weird between us.
Sheldon : Won't it also be weird if I have to say hello to you every morning on my way to work and you're living in a refrigerator box and washing your hair with rain water?
Penny : I'll pay you back as soon as I can.
Sheldon : Of course you will. It's impossible to pay me back sooner than you can. Assuming you subscribe to a linear understanding of time and causality.
Penny : I'm regretting this already.
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Sheldon Cooper : If you recall, I pointed out the check engine light to you several months ago.
Penny : The check engine light is fine, it's still blinking away. It's the stupid engine that stopped working.
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Sheldon Cooper : I've been giving the matter some thought, and I think I'd be willing to be a house pet to a race of superintelligent aliens.
Leonard Hofstadter : Interesting.
Sheldon Cooper : Ask me why?
Leonard Hofstadter : Do I have to?
Sheldon Cooper : Of course, that's how you move a conversation forward.
Leonard Hofstadter : Why?
Sheldon Cooper : The learning opportunities would be abundant, additionally, I like having my belly scratched.
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Leonard Hofstadter : You play a game to simulate adventure, but when there's real adventure out there in the real world, you just wimp out!
Sheldon Cooper : Leonard, do you not recall the last time we visited this gentleman, we returned home without pants.
Leonard Hofstadter : I do.
Sheldon Cooper : Are you sure? Because your proposal suggests that you don't.
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Leonard Hofstadter : You clearly did something to aggrevate her!
Sheldon Cooper : I'm at a loss. If you like, you can review my daily log of social interactions. And see if there's a blunder I overlooked.
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Sheldon Cooper : The true hero doesn't seek adulation. He fights for right and justice simply because it's his nature.
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Penny : Wow, you got a lot of money in there.
Sheldon Cooper : That's why it's guarded by snakes.
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Sheldon Cooper : All right, these theaters have to be eliminated.
Leonard Hofstadter : Why, they're state of the art. Digital projection, 20 channel surround sound...
Sheldon Cooper : Yes, but they have no Icee machines. Despite my agressive letter writing campaign I might add.
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Leonard Hofstadter : Hey, you guys want to go on a real live quest?
Sheldon Cooper : Outside? But I just made cocoa.
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Sheldon Cooper : I'm sorry, I don't understand what social situation this is. Could you give me some guidance in how to proceed.
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Penny : Is Leonard around?
Sheldon : He went to the movies without me. It was the only option. I'm sorry, I don't understand which social situation this is. Could you give me some guidance as to how to proceed?
Penny : The building manager's showing an apartment downstairs, and I haven't paid my rent.
Sheldon : Oh, I see. Penny, I'm not sure I'm comfortable harbouring a fugitive from the 2311 North Los Robles Corporation.
Penny : It's no big deal. I'm just a little behind on my bills because they cut back my hours at the restaurant and my car broke down.
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Sheldon Cooper : In what *Universe* are slurpees Icees?