The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)
The Lizard-Spock Expansion (2008)
Johnny Galecki: Leonard Hofstadter
Photos
Quotes
-
Leonard Hofstadter : What's the emergency?
Howard Wolowitz : I got the Mars Rover stuck in a ditch.
Sheldon Cooper : Where?
Howard Wolowitz : On a dusty highway just outside Bakersfield... Where do you think? On Mars!
-
Leonard Hofstadter : Let me ask you something: if your friend thinks he's dating someone, but he's not, because in fact you're dating her, does that make you a bad person?
Penny : Well that depends.
Leonard Hofstadter : On what?
Penny : Is that friend Wolowitz?
Leonard Hofstadter : Yeah...
Penny : Screw him - you're fine.
Leonard Hofstadter : Are you sure?
Penny : Well... Have you slept with her yet?
[Leonard nods]
Penny : You dog! Good for you!
Leonard Hofstadter : Does that change things?
Penny : No.
Leonard Hofstadter : So, why did you ask?
Penny : I'm nosy!
-
Stephanie : So, how was your day?
Leonard Hofstadter : You know, I'm a physicist, so I thought about stuff.
Stephanie : That's it?
Leonard Hofstadter : I wrote some of it down.
-
Stephanie : So are you a scientist like Howard?
Leonard Hofstadter : No one's a scientist like Howard.
-
Leonard Hofstadter : These things just happen. Usually not to me, but they do happen.
-
Sheldon Cooper : If someone, and of course we don't know who this would be, does ask where you've gone, what should I say?
Leonard Hofstadter : I don't know... Just tell them I went to the office.
Sheldon Cooper : Are you going to the office?
Leonard Hofstadter : No.
Sheldon Cooper : Then how can I say it convincingly?
Leonard Hofstadter : Just say, "Leonard went to the office."
Sheldon Cooper : All right.
[Robotically]
Sheldon Cooper : "Leonard went to... the office."
Leonard Hofstadter : What is-? No, not like that; just "Leonard went to the office."
Sheldon Cooper : This would have worked out a lot better if you had just told me you were going to the office.
Leonard Hofstadter : I'm going to the office.
Sheldon Cooper : See, why don't I believe you?
-
Sheldon Cooper : Howard is employing a schoolyard paradigm in which you are, for all intents and purposes, deceased. He intends to act on this by not speaking to you, feigning an inability to hear you when you speak, and otherwise refusing to acknowledge your existence.
Leonard Hofstadter : That's just ridiculous! Why are you cooperating with him?
Sheldon Cooper : I don't make the rules, Leonard.
-
[first lines]
Sheldon Cooper : Oh look, Saturn 3 is on.
Raj Koothrappali : I don't want to watch Saturn 3; Deep Space 9 is better.
Sheldon Cooper : How is Deep Space 9 better than Saturn 3?
Raj Koothrappali : Simple subtraction will tell you it's six better.
Leonard Hofstadter : Compromise; watch Babylon 5.
[chuckles]
Sheldon Cooper : In what sense is that a compromise?
Leonard Hofstadter : Well, five is part way between three an... Never mind.
-
Leonard Hofstadter : Hi Steph. Come on in.
Dr. Stephanie Barnett : Is this a bad time?
Leonard Hofstadter : Yeah, but I don't see a better one on the horizon.
-
Stephanie : I'm sorry. I totally interrupted you. What, what, what were you saying?
Leonard Hofstadter : Just said Howard's a terrific guy. He's got a great sense of humour, he loves his mother, a lot, some people say too much.
Stephanie : I really like that you're such a loyal friend.
Leonard Hofstadter : Yeah, I am loyal. You know, if you look at the big picture. Just, out of curiosity, did he ever have a shot with you?
Stephanie : Are you insane? The guy was wearing an eye patch.
Leonard Hofstadter : Then why did you?
Stephanie : He said that I could drive a car on Mars.
Leonard Hofstadter : Got it.
-
Leonard Hofstadter : So, can I see you again?
Dr. Stephanie Barnett : You're not done seeing me now.