- Lily Aldrin: [as Scooter hands her flowers, in a fake excited voice] Lilies! Clever! Sorry I don't have a Scooter for you.
- Ted Mosby: So, Karen in New York. Weird, right?
- Lily Aldrin: Ted, you can not get back together with Karen.
- Ted Mosby: I never said I was gonna get back together with her. But I was thinking, she's new in town, would it be the worst thing in the world if I gave her a call?
- Marshall Eriksen: No. No, Ted, it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. It would be the fourth worst thing. Number one: a super volcano. Number two: an asteroid hits the Earth. Number three: All the Evel Knievel movies are lost. Number four: Ted calls Karen. Number five: Lily gets eaten by a shark.
- Lily Aldrin: I'm Lily, and I approve the order of that list.
- Ted Mosby: You are unbelievable! You don't have the guts to break up like a decent human being so instead you pull this crap!
- Karen: Okay, you're right. I'm great with books. I'm great with art. I'm great at identifying French wine to within a mile of where the grapes were grown. But I'm really bad at looking someone in the eye and telling him the truth about how I really feel.
- Ted Mosby: Well, we're both bad at that. But I think we both need to change. So why don't I go first: Karen, you're a really hurtful and reckless person and I never want to see you or speak to your again. Au revoir.
- Karen: Ted, wait. Actually, 'au revoir' means 'until we see each other again.' So, I'm assuming that you mean we will in fact see each other again?
- Ted Mosby: Sorry, bro.
- Barney Stinson: [as Lily exits the elevator in GNB office building] Lily! What are you doin' here?
- Lily Aldrin: Oh! I'm here to give Marshall something.
- Barney Stinson: Ahhh! Here to, GIVE, him something.
- [Winks]
- Barney Stinson: Gotcha!
- [Winks]
- Barney Stinson: Nice!
- Lily Aldrin: Yeah, but I'm, I'm in a hurry. Can I just give it to you?
- Barney Stinson: [Thinks about it] Sure, OK.
- Lily Aldrin: And, and, and then you'll give it to him.
- Barney Stinson: Wai... Ho... Ay... I dunno about all that. I mean, yours will have to be very good.
- Lily Aldrin: What are you talking about?
- Barney Stinson: What are you talking about?
- Lily Aldrin: Mar, Marshall forgot his pants, so I'm bringing him a new pair.
- Barney Stinson: Ha! Marshall forgot his pants. Well, it's a good thing you came by, because he has a really important meeting today and it would be pretty embarrassing, and not at all funny if he were to show up not wearing pants. So, I'll make sure he gets these.
- Barney Stinson: Think of the funniest thing ever.
- Robin Scherbatsky: Got it.
- Barney Stinson: Now double it.
- Robin Scherbatsky: A chimpanzee with two tuxedos?
- Ted Mosby: She wasn't that bad.
- Lily Aldrin: Of course not. That's because she turned you into one of her douche zombies.
- Marshall Eriksen: [zombie voice] I want to eat your brains, but only if they're organic and grass-fed.
- Ted Mosby: We've all done things in college we regret. Marshall grew a soul patch, wore a rasta hat and asked that everyone call him J.B. Smooth.
- Marshall Eriksen: I do not regret that for a second.
- Marshall Eriksen: The story is already written. Ted is Charlie Brown and Karen is Lucy, and she's going to pull the football away and have sex with it.