Missy Palmer: Marzipan
Quotes
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Marzipan : Homestar, I told you I don't like you having all your friends over to watch the game and plan paramilitary operations without asking me first.
Homestar Runner : Oh, you granola bars are all the same! Except for the ones with chocolate chips! You enjoy your freedom to not wash your hair, and play hackey sack, but aren't willing to put an orange bowl on your head, and wave a spoon around!
Marzipan : [very frustrated] Okay, that is it, Homestar. We are THROUGH!
Homestar Runner : Good!
Marzipan : Fine!
Homestar Runner : Better! Your side is East Marzistar, and my side is East Homezipan! Midway along the border we'll set up Checkpoint The Cheat.
Marzipan : Why don't you just make your own country at your house?
Homestar Runner : No way! There's a squirrel in the attic that I sometimes think is a spooky ghost!
Marzipan : [walking off] Whatever!
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[Homestar details to Marzipan the siege of the King of Town's castle in the style of a Ken Burns-directed documentary]
Homestar Runner : My dearest Marzipan, the siege on the castle continues. We are forever surrounded by the brown stench of war and the constant beige screaming. Always the beige screaming. We have suffered great losses. The Cheat was the first to turn tail and join the enemy, followed closely by the traitorous Coach Z, which, incidentally, is his new rap name. I've done things I'm not proud of. I can only dream of the day when this madness ends and I can return to your "arms" once again. Your lovable cuddliness, Homestar Runner.
Marzipan : [clearly upset] Don't be stupid, Homestar.
Homestar Runner : Okay.
Marzipan : The siege last five minutes and that was a week ago. It was like the King of Town *wanted* to give up.
Homestar Runner : The Homestarmy sure showed him a thing or twelve!
Marzipan : Whatever. I just wanted to tell you *again* to pick up your stupid draft wheel from my house. I need the yard for my Down With The King rally. Now I'm going back town to protest you/everything you stand for.
[She leaves in a huff]
Homestar Runner : Okay, Marzipan! Call me!
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Marzipan : Didn't you see the warning message about the new e-mail tax?
Strong Bad : [mimicking Marzipan] No, I didn't see the warning message about the new e-mail tax.
[normal voice]
Strong Bad : All messages from the King of Town get intercepted with extreme prejudice by my idiot filter.
Homestar Runner : But I sent you all kinds of reminder e-mails!
Strong Bad : Idiot filter.
Homestar Runner : But I sent you all kinds of reminder e-mails!
Strong Bad : Idiot... Never mind.
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Strong Bad : Aren't you tired of that The Of Town cramping your style?
Homestar Runner : Oh, you got THAT right! I don't like the way his castle sits up there, undressing me with its eyes.
Strong Bad : What're you gonna do when they INVADE?
Homestar Runner : [alarmed] Invade Homezipan? Call the militia! This is not a drill, people!
Strong Bad : Do you even HAVE a militia?
Homestar Runner : Holy crap, we're defenseless! That settles it: I'm getting the band back together! I'm bringing back the Homestarmy!
Marzipan : What was that?
Homestar Runner : Uh... I said I'm bringing back the Peaceful Homezipan Gentle Flower-Planting Brigade, dear.
