Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted (2012)

Ben Stiller: Alex

Photos 

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Quotes 

• Alex : [Marty drives a van]  What're you doing? Zebras can't drive, only penguins and people can drive!

• Marty : [singing and dancing]  Da-da-dadadada-da-da, circus, da-da-dadadada-da-da, afro! Circus afro, circus afro! Polka dot, polka dot, polka dot afro!

  Alex : ...Really?

• Alex : The Colosseum, the original theater in the round, Marty. You know, my ancestors used to perform here.

  Marty : No kiddin'?

  Alex : Yeah. Every show had a captive audience. Apparently, they killed.

• Vitaly : It is impossible.

  Alex : It was always impossible. That's why the people loved it.

  Vitaly : That is why I loved it, because I did the impossible.

• Marty : Man, that is one ugly, mag-ugly lady! That is roach-killing ugly!

  Alex : Wait a minute, that's no lady, that's the King of Versailles; and that's not the King of Versailles, that's the chimps! And the chimps are smoke, and where there's smoke, there's fire, and by fire, I mean the penguins!

• Alex : We're going the wrong way! Turn around!

  Marty : Just call me Marty-o Andretti!

  Alex : No, you're Sucky-o Andretti!

  Marty : Stop back-seat driving!

  Alex : I'm passenger-seat driving, and I want the wheel! Give me the wheel!

  Marty : It's not a wheel, it's my baby!

  Alex : Your hooves aren't meant to be on a wheel!

  Marty : It's too late for you to drive now!

• [the group is observing their old homes from outside the zoo gates] 

  Alex : Hmm... My rock looks smaller than I remember it being...

  Marty : Hey, look, it's the mural! Heh, doesn't quite capture the real thing, does it?

  Gloria : Well, there's our homes... I forgot about that wall between us, Melman. Was that always there?

• Alex : Skipper, what about the plane?

  Skipper : Well, the chimps will work all through the night, no breaks, no safety restrictions...

  [Chimps run off] 

  Skipper : Hey! Where are you going? Get back here, we have a contract!

  Mason : Yes, well, I'm afraid the labour laws are slightly more lenient in France. You see, they only have to work 2 weeks in a year.

  Skipper : Well, someone else has the Canadian work ethic!

• Stefano : Maybe I am average intelligence after all.

  Alex : Some would even say slightly above.

  Stefano : No, I don't think so.

• Alex : Well, I say they can take the animals out of the circus, but they can't take the animals out of the circus!

  [pause] 

  Alex : Uh, you know what I mean!

• Alex : I just wanted to thank you for letting us get in the train back there. I know "the big guy with the accent" wasn't so happy about this and...

  Gia : Look, lion guy. This circus means everything to us. And if you do anything that threatens this circus, you'll have to answer to me. Capiche?

  Alex : Yeah, capiche. Cool! Trust me, we're cool.

• Gia : Alex? You are from a zoo?

  [pause] 

  Alex : Yes. Yes. But wait, there's more.

  Gia : More?

  Alex : Or less. There's less.

  Vitaly : You were never circus?

  Gloria : We had to say we were circus.

  Melman : Or you'd never let us on the train.

  Gia : After all we have been through together, you want to go live in a zoo?

  Alex : Gia, I...

  Vitaly : You used us.

  Alex : No, no, no. I mean - I mean yes but,

  Gia : Trapeze americano, you make that up, too?

  Alex : It didn't exactly exist when I taught it to you.

  Gia : Jet packs and aquatic cobras! I should've known.

  Stefano : Balloons to the children of the world was not real, either?

  Alex : Yeah, that's not real. But look at what we did.

  Stefano : I was shot out of a cannon! I could've died!

  Marty : But I thought it was your lifelong dream.

  Stefano : For all I know, your name is not even Alice.

  Alex : No, Stefano, but it never really was.

  Stefano : I don't feel safe!

  Alex : Gia, I...

  Gia : We trusted you.

  Stefano : My tears are real! You are not!

• Alex : [in a dream]  What happened to you? You're so *elderly*!

• Alex : [after Gia asks Alex to teach her trapeze]  What are we 5.

  Gia : Si! I am five.

• Stefano : Come in this way, Alice.

  Alex : By the way, it's Ix. Not iss. Alex. Like New York Knicks.

  Stefano : I know. New York Kniss. It's not hard.

• Alex : Stefano, you're a genius.

  Stefano : No, I'm a not. I'm only average intelligence. Some even say slightly below.

• Alex : And Melman, you're the Brooklyn Bridge.

  Melman : Actually, I'm the Triborough Bridge.