- Wally Jabrowski: For your crimes against decency, and politeness, and common courtesy, I condemn you to hell!
- Joe Miller: What about the Bus Ticket?
- Wally Jabrowski: Not that useful. Unless you want to get to a little spot outside Gallup, New Mexico in a jiffy, which I don't.
- Joe Miller: Why Gallup?
- Wally Jabrowski: Why not?
- Wally Jabrowski: Sometimes when you start getting Objects together, weird things happen. New things. New properties. Totally unpredictable. Take the Watch. Useless, right?
- Joe Miller: The Watch?
- Wally Jabrowski: Wristwatch. Cooks eggs. Nothing else, just eggs. Put an egg in the middle - hardboils it. I don't know how somebody figured that out, but they did. Anyway, nobody used to care much about the Watch until one day somebody found out that if you put the Watch and the Knife together, you get a... kind of telepathy.
- Joe Miller: I shoot anybody, it's going to be you.
- Howard "The Weasel" Montague: That's not very collaborative.
- Wally Jabrowski: You ever feel that something's wrong with the universe?
- Joe Miller: Yeah, sure.
- Wally Jabrowski: Well, you're right. Things like this shouldn't happen. But in that motel room, they did.
- Howard "The Weasel" Montague: My underwear is not an Object.
- Joe Miller: Then I'm sure you won't miss 'em.