- Eliot Spencer: [to meth dealer] Hey. What smells like crank and screams like a girl?
- [kicks his leg; dealer screams]
- Eliot Spencer: Right answer.
- Alec Hardison: You know, I had to re-task two satellites just to get a lousy internet connection. Took more than an hour to torrent the last episode of Doctor Who.
- Parker: Hey! Illegal downloading's wrong.
- [lights a fire in the van]
- Nathan Ford: Parker, have you ever robbed a bank that's being robbed before?
- Parker: There's a first time for everything.
- Alec Hardison: [inventing bank robber's demands] Now look, they have a list of demands. First off they want 12 large pizzas, one cheese, one Hawaiian extra pineapple, 2 pepperoni black olives, 2 meat lovers. Seriously, nobody's writing this down? Seriously? One Triple-Shot Half-Caff Moca Latte. Three of the latest copies of Hall & Oates CD. I know right, exciting stuff, I didn't know they were still coming out with a new one either. Um, we're gonna need some steaks people and a grill. Okay they need your overalls, I don't know why. We need some Kibbles 'n Bits. We need a Etch-A-Sketch, someone likes to squiggle. Possibly could we get some stuffed bears... Are we good? Let's go people.
- [last lines]
- Nathan Ford: So pizza boxes huh?
- Alec Hardison: Yeah, I know, I know, you could have done better.
- Nathan Ford: No, no, I couldn't have...
- Derrick Clark: Why should I trust you? I don't know who you are.
- Sophie Devereaux: I am a thief.
- Derrick Clark: Okay, I'm not sure what to do with that.
- Alec Hardison: Woah, what's going on?
- Sherrif Hastings: Cut power to the bank. Standard operating procedure.
- Alec Hardison: Stand-It's standard? Where you getting that bull hockey from, son?
- Sherrif Hastings: Deputy Arnold. He took a seminar in crisis management last year.
- Deputy Arnold: It was an online seminar. We got certificates.
- Alec Hardison: Certificates? Magic kits come with certificates. Does that make it cool for kids to saw their parents in half?
- Nathan Ford: [in back of ambulance] This is all very heart warming, but can we save it until after the morphine drip...
- Alec Hardison: [to the deputy who acknowledged to Hall and Oates albums] You stay, we're gonna talk Hall and Oates.