Saturday Night Live (TV Series)

Paul Rudd/Beyoncé (2008)

Seth Meyers: Weekend Update Anchor

Quotes 

• Weekend Update Anchor : Police in Germany say that a man with no arms stole a 24 inch television set from a store. The man said he would have paid for it, but he couldn't reach his wallet.

  Weekend Update Anchor : [audience laughs politely]  No? How about this: Police in Germany say that a man with no arms stole a 24 inch television set from a store. Man, how lazy are employees when they don't stop a guy from kicking a TV out the front door?

  Weekend Update Anchor : [bigger laugh]  One more? Police in Germany say that a man with no arms stole a 24 inch television set from a store, ah, the old no finger discount.

  Weekend Update Anchor : [turns to other camera]  Last week, the state of Callifornia passed...

  Weekend Update Anchor : [turns back to previous set up]  Police in Germany say that a man with no arms stole a 24 inch television set from a store, police said that it was an easy arrest as the suspect was unarmed.

  [big applause and laughter]