DTV Monster Hits (1987 TV Movie)

Jeffrey Jones: Man in the Magic Mirror

Quotes 

• Man in the Magic Mirror : Oh, good, she's not here. I mean, my former employer... the Wicked Queen in Snow White, you know - "Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?" Yecch.

• Man in the Magic Mirror : It's fifty years since I first appeared on the silver screen. Back then, "rock" had a different meaning. We'd beware of rocks, especially if they were rolling.

• Man in the Magic Mirror : Tonight, we'll share some slightly scary monster hits from the dungeons of Disney. Delicious little things that go BUMP in the night.

  [laughs] 

• Man in the Magic Mirror : Pure fear can be so exhilarating. It sometimes even makes me feel like dancing, but - I can't. Because, as the song goes, I ain't got no body.

• Man in the Magic Mirror : I've been hanging around for centuries, so I've had plenty of time for reflection of the most interesting of subjects: villains. Do you realice that without evil there is no good, and without villains there wouldn't be heroes? Believe me, I'm an expert. Being a looking-glass, I get to watch all kinds of people so don't be surprised if the next time you look into a mirror, somebody's watching you.

• Man in the Magic Mirror : [of The Legend of Sleepy Hollow]  Is this story real, or mere fantasy?... I'll never tell. But that pie was delicious!

• Man in the Magic Mirror : When it comes to scheming, plotting, and revenge, heck hath no fury like a woman scorned and I should know. Used to work for one of the unfairest of all.

• Man in the Magic Mirror : She loved to dabble in her lab and consult her cookbook of spells and curses. Remember her motto - bitter living through chemistry?

• Man in the Magic Mirror : [Medusa shoots him]  Hey, wait a minute, what's going on here! I'm on *your* side! Hoh! This hosting job can be a danerous experience.

• Man in the Magic Mirror : You know what strikes me as you humans' greatest weakness? Superstitions. I mean, does anyone honestly believe that nonsense about a black cat bringing bad luck, or, that thirteen at dinner causes indigestion? It's so ridiculous. In fact, just the other day -

  [a fissure etches its way onto his glass] 

  Man in the Magic Mirror : Who did that? Who cracked my mirror? Oh, curses, don't you know that's seven years' bad luck? For you!

• Man in the Magic Mirror : If I had beautiful dreams like Mickey, I'd go back to sleep too. Of course, I must admit I personally perfer nightmares, but - don't be alarmed.