- Curry Man: In truth you made me a much better man in death than I ever was in life
- D I Smythe: [before passing on] You can't let her getaway with this Murphy
- D I Smythe: [when the other ghosts say they're fine being murdered] Yes we do she's a murderer, she deserves to be punished
- Kebab Woman: Oh you be quiet... You were an accident... You killed yourself WE'RE THE REAL VICTIMS... And do we mind? NO!
- Mrs. Sethi: [dying] I wanted to be with my husband... there's nothing left for me... except see you with a husband as good as mine.
- Speed dater: I got speed dates to my left I got speed dates to my right Don't you worry about me I'll speed date you all night.
- Kebab Woman: [Now a ghost having been stabbed in the neck with a meat skewer] Why did you have too stab me in the neck with a meat kebab? You know I'm a vegetarian! Why couldn't you use something with hummus?
- Curry Man: [Haunting Mrs Sethi] You killed us for telling the truth? For just being too damn honest?
- Kebab Woman: [as ghosts observing Roopi] She shouldn't drink so much
- Curry Man: [Muttering] She shouldn't eat so much... she'll scare everyone away
- D I Smythe: [now a ghost] Well... this whole thing is ridiculous... I can't think of a worst motive in criminal history
- [all of Sethi's victims stare at the hedge clippers still stuck in his groin]
- Mrs. Sethi: Please let them be, don't make me harm you
- D I Smythe: Calm down
- [Mrs Sethi picks up a set of hedge clipper shears]
- D I Smythe: My god... it's you
- Mrs. Sethi: Leave them
- D I Smythe: Put down the shears
- Mrs. Sethi: I don't want to harm you... please
- [last lines]
- D I Smythe: Put down the shears