- Stan Smith: What the hell, Francine? This tastes like crap!
- Francine Smith: I know. I used to cook everything in oil containing trans fat, but since the new law, you can't get it anymore.
- Stan Smith: That's what trans fat is? The stuff that makes everything taste wonderful? Oh, why doesn't the city council just declare a war on flavor? Like the English did years ago!
- Steve Smith: Their food is atrocious.
- Francine Smith: I miss Lady Di.
- Steve Smith: She was the people's princess...
- Stan Smith: I know who she was, Steven!
- Stan Smith: The new Pixar movie, Clothes. It's about the secret lives of clothes. John Ratzenberger plays a tie.
- Stan Smith: Francine, if your cooking gets any better, I'm gonna have to get a stomach staple, then bust it out Roker-style. Poor Roker. He will always be fat.
- Steve Smith: Hayley, here's what I know: I'm off to deliver food to the elderly to earn my gerontology badge. I have this bike helmet which crushes my ears, itches my head and gives me Bonnie Franklin hair. Now, why do I wear it? Because it's the law.
- Francine Smith: [to Stan] Honey, what's the matter? What is it? I'm pregnant, aren't I? That's it, isn't it? I'm pregnant! You told me I was on the pill!
- Stan Smith: No, you're not pregnant, thank God. I wouldn't want to bring a child into a world where I can't get any more trans fat.