- Stewie Griffin: [to Brian] Boy, who woulda thought all this trouble could be caused by simply uttering the phrase, "Gosh, that Italian family at the next table sure is quiet."
- [Stewie saying "Gosh, that Italian family at the next table sure is quiet." triggers Meg as a "Sleeper Agent" which prompts her to put down the book she was reading on the couch, go to the phone, pick it up/dial it and speak Russian]
- Russian Man: Shut up, 2476.
- Peter Griffin: Let me show you something that's funny. Okay here's an impression of John Wayne on the first Thanksgiving.
- [as John Wayne]
- Peter Griffin: I'm John Wayne on the first Thanksgiving pilgrims! Happy Thanksgiving pilgrims!
- Stewie Griffin: Hahaha, Where's this guy been?
- Dan Aykroyd: Well, Mr.Griffin, this has been a lot of fun.
- Chevy Chase: Lot of fun.
- Dan Aykroyd: But we've gotta get back over to our place and kind uh- do what... What do we have to do?
- Chevy Chase: Roll some joints and get high.
- Dan Aykroyd: Yeah, we gotta do those things.
- Peter Griffin: That's not funny. Drugs aren't funny. They ruin lives.
- Stewie Griffin: Amen.
- Dan Aykroyd: No Peter, *you're* not funny.
- Chevy Chase: I'm afraid Dan's right. You're not funny at all.
- Peter Griffin: I don't get it.
- Chevy Chase: You're painfully unfunny.
- Peter Griffin: Get the fuck out of my house!
- Stewie Griffin: [to Brian] Boy, who would have thought all this trouble could be caused by simply uttering the phrase, "Gosh, that Italian family at the next table sure is quiet."
- [Meg gets triggered, goes to the phone and dials a number]
- Meg Griffin: [in Russian] Agent 2476 knows and waits until we say what to do with our country. Please wait until we call you.
- Russian: Shut up, 2476!
- [Russian cutaway gag]
- Russian Hedgehog: What idiot created a porcupine sandwich without any bread, McTsarsky's? Hooligans, loafers!
- [gets a loaf of bread]
- Russian Hedgehog: Ha, ha, ha!
- [a missile attacks Cleveland's new house while he's in the bathtub]
- Cleveland Brown: [Sitting in the bathtub that is falling with him in it] No, no, no, no, no, NO!
- Tim: [Tim shows up and sees Cleveland on the ground] I don't get it.
- Peter Griffin: Wow, I can't believe that we are having dinner with 2 of the 3 Ghost Busters.
- Chevy Chase: I wasn't in Ghostbusters.
- Peter Griffin: Listen, I gotta tell you guys, I've watched all your movies, like, a thousand times.
- Chevy Chase: You saw "Cops and Robbersons"?
- Dan Aykroyd: And "My Stepmother Is An Alien"?
- Peter Griffin: Almost all of them.
- Brian Griffin: What are you guys doing in Quahog?
- Dan Aykroyd: We are doing research for our next movie.