- Jane: I guess this is the part where you become a charming memory.
- The Montana Kid: Not quite. Uh, turns out there's a fair bit of debt that has to be satisfied before I can leave this, uh, this town.
- [reading]
- The Montana Kid: I owe fer nine bullets, one tea cup, one shear pin, one case o' snails, one carrot, laundry and sewin' services, 4 horse shoes, one portrait of a ugly lady, one bag o' cats... Wait a minute. Oh, that's oats.
- The Montana Kid: Where am I?
- Adell Kwon: In the Dominion of Canada.
- The Montana Kid: Ooh just when you thought it couldn't get any worse.
- The Montana Kid: She is most definitely worth a bullet.
- Jane: [Jane overhears what The Montana Kid said] Hey!
- The Montana Kid: No. I meant... I don't mean it that way.
- [first lines]
- The Montana Kid: [hanging upside down from his horse] Do you, uh, speaky English?
- Adell Kwon: [hands on hips] Do you?
- Jack: I don't got time for a common nuisance.
- The Montana Kid: [in his face] What'd you just call me?
- Jack: A nuisance.
- The Montana Kid: No, before that, what did you call me?
- Jack: Common.
- The Montana Kid: Whoa, you just crossed the line.
- Jack: [picks him up and moves him]
- The Montana Kid: [wakes up yelping as bullet is removed]
- Dr. Angus Schiffron: Well, hello again. I'd say a 36 caliber. Am I right?
- The Montana Kid: Uh, I didn't get a good look at it on the way in.
- Ben Cutler: You ain't worth the bullet.
- The Montana Kid: She is most definitely worth a bullet.
- Jane: Hey!
- Corporal Jonathan Kent: Each of you has a writ of expatriation, and a notice of intent to charge and detain.
- Ben Cutler: Writ o' what?
- Corporal Jonathan Kent: It means I will graciously escort your smelly hides out of the country. And if you even think of returning, we will show you one Her Majesty's hoosegows.
- Ben Cutler: What'sa hoosegow?
- Jane: Why don't you just let it go?
- The Montana Kid: Cuz I can't.
- [sighs]
- The Montana Kid: Cuz if I let it go now, then I shoulda let it go when them 3 guys in Missouri called me a cheat. Now you tell me. Did they die for nothin'? And if I let them guys in Missouri go, then I shoulda let it go when that man was whoopin' that dog. Now does that sound right to you? Beatin' on a helpless dog? If I was able to let that man go for beatin' on that mutt, then sure as hell no reason I couldn'ta just walked away when I was called out in Wyoming, or Santa Fe, and twice in Arizona. If I was so damned smart to walk away when I was called out, then I should have the wherewithal to use my gun in self-defense, twice. And if I shoulda been able to avoid that, then there's no arguable reason why I couldn'ta just gone to the sheriff, insteada killin' the man that whipped my pa.
- Jane: I thought he shot your pa.
- The Montana Kid: Just beat 'im up. Broke his jaw and bloody nose but... Taught a common thief a lesson, he said, how do you like that?
- [laughs]
- The Montana Kid: Common. He was anything but common. He was my pa. When I shot that man, like it or not, this is my path. This is what I do. And I am what I do.
- [rides off]
- Dr. Angus Schiffron: I always pull the first bullet out of a man's posterior pro bono. It's a time honored tradition.