Eastbound & Down (TV Series)

Chapter 5 (2009)

Danny McBride: Kenny Powers

Photos 

Quotes 

• Reg's Bodyguard : Clegg here?

  Kenny Powers : The fuck do you want?

  Reg's Bodyguard : You Clegg?

  Kenny Powers : Maybe.

  Clegg : [whispers]  Then again, maybe not.

  Reg's Bodyguard : I will fuck you up, motherfucker!

  Kenny Powers : That's not what I was insinuating. By my body language I was just saying welcome to Sh-Boom Sh-Booms.

  Reg's Bodyguard : Look, whichever of you two faggots is Clegg, I got the money.

  Clegg : Oh, wait, you're the bodyguard.

  Reg's Bodyguard : Yeah, that's right. Yeah, listen, um, can we take care of this shit out back? This bar smells like a old lady farted piss.

  Clegg : That's gross.

• Kenny Powers : I'm just an average American... with extraordinary hair.

• Kenny Powers : I'm gonna have a fucking panic attack. I need four xanax and two Miller Lites.

• Kenny Powers : If you wanna fight, you do it on your own time. In a parking lot somewhere. Not in a school surrounded by books.

• Kenny Powers : You came back for me.

  Stevie Janowski : No, I never really left.

  Kenny Powers : Well, that's illegal. We shouldn't just have it out, but thanks dude.

• Kenny Powers : You came.

  April Buchanon : Yeah, I heard it on the radio.

  Kenny Powers : So does this mean...?

  April Buchanon : Yes.

  Kenny Powers : I just want you to know that I've been thinking a lot about what happened at the cook-out.

  April Buchanon : Can we talk about it later when everyone is not around?

  Kenny Powers : It was just that we were there, and then we were touching each other, and then I saw those tits and I started feeling your ass, and then i just started breathing heavy and i almost got a headache, and then my vision started to go all colorful... Then I just came in my pants.

  April Buchanon : Ok...

  April Buchanon : But I won't do that again.

  Baseball Player : Hey, can we finish this or you just gonna yakkity yak with tits and legs over there?

  Kenny Powers : Hey! She's more that just a pair of tits with legs, Mackworthy!

• Kenny Powers : I just want you to know that I've been thinking a lot about, you know, what happened at the cookout.

  April Buchanon : Can we talk about it later, when everyone's not around?

  Kenny Powers : It's just that we were there, and then we were touching each other, and then I saw those tits, and then I started feelin' your ass and I started breathin' heavy and I almost got a headache and then my vision started to go all colorful... and then I just came in my pants.

• Kenny Powers : Kenny Power's days of burning ass are done. And that's not a homosexual reference.

• Stevie Janowski : I hope we get into a fucking car wreck, and then we die, and we get to see each other in heaven.

  Kenny Powers : We're not gonna get into a car wreck, because I'm an excellent driver.

  [Kenny drinks a can of beer as he drives] 

• Kenny Powers : I need to record something!

  Stevie Janowski : Well, I have a cracked version of Logic Pro 8.