- Ashley Schaeffer: Can you feel the tension? I can. I can feel down in my plums. Getting a nice, bluish hue. Getting ready to take them down to the farmer's market.
- Reg's Bodyguard: Clegg here?
- Kenny Powers: The fuck do you want?
- Reg's Bodyguard: You Clegg?
- Kenny Powers: Maybe.
- Clegg: [whispers] Then again, maybe not.
- Reg's Bodyguard: I will fuck you up, motherfucker!
- Kenny Powers: That's not what I was insinuating. By my body language I was just saying welcome to Sh-Boom Sh-Booms.
- Reg's Bodyguard: Look, whichever of you two faggots is Clegg, I got the money.
- Clegg: Oh, wait, you're the bodyguard.
- Reg's Bodyguard: Yeah, that's right. Yeah, listen, um, can we take care of this shit out back? This bar smells like a old lady farted piss.
- Clegg: That's gross.
- Kenny Powers: If you wanna fight, you do it on your own time. In a parking lot somewhere. Not in a school surrounded by books.
- Reg Mackworthy: I know where you at, man. You had it all, and now it's gone. And it's torn a whole in your soul bigger'n my Escalade. So you turn to the drugs, the alcohol, the pornography, freebasin' with O.J., human traffickin', dog fights-slash-orgies... darkness.
- Reg Mackworthy: Who the fuck is this guy?
- Stevie Janowski: Who the fuck are you? WHO the FUCK are YOU?
- Kenny Powers: You came back for me.
- Stevie Janowski: No, I never really left.
- Kenny Powers: Well, that's illegal. We shouldn't just have it out, but thanks dude.
- Kenny Powers: You came.
- April Buchanon: Yeah, I heard it on the radio.
- Kenny Powers: So does this mean...?
- April Buchanon: Yes.
- Kenny Powers: I just want you to know that I've been thinking a lot about what happened at the cook-out.
- April Buchanon: Can we talk about it later when everyone is not around?
- Kenny Powers: It was just that we were there, and then we were touching each other, and then I saw those tits and I started feeling your ass, and then i just started breathing heavy and i almost got a headache, and then my vision started to go all colorful... Then I just came in my pants.
- April Buchanon: Ok...
- April Buchanon: But I won't do that again.
- Baseball Player: Hey, can we finish this or you just gonna yakkity yak with tits and legs over there?
- Kenny Powers: Hey! She's more that just a pair of tits with legs, Mackworthy!
- Kenny Powers: I just want you to know that I've been thinking a lot about, you know, what happened at the cookout.
- April Buchanon: Can we talk about it later, when everyone's not around?
- Kenny Powers: It's just that we were there, and then we were touching each other, and then I saw those tits, and then I started feelin' your ass and I started breathin' heavy and I almost got a headache and then my vision started to go all colorful... and then I just came in my pants.
- Stevie Janowski: I hope we get into a fucking car wreck, and then we die, and we get to see each other in heaven.
- Kenny Powers: We're not gonna get into a car wreck, because I'm an excellent driver.
- [Kenny drinks a can of beer as he drives]
- Kenny Powers: I need to record something!
- Stevie Janowski: Well, I have a cracked version of Logic Pro 8.
- Stevie Janowski: Okay, so I can have the EQ optimized for what you wanna do. I just need to know, ah, are you gonna be singing?
- Ashley Schaeffer: Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Can you feel the tension? I can! I can feel it... down in my plums. They're getting a nice bluish hue, gettin' ready to take 'em to the farmer's market.