Bank Clerk: How can I help you, young man?
Stan Marsh: I got a hundred-dollar check from my grandma and my dad said I need to put it in the bank so it can grow over the years.
Bank Clerk: Well that's fantastic. A really smart decision, young man. We can put that check in a money market mutual fund, then we'll re-invest the earnings into foreign currency accounts with compounding interest aaaand it's gone.
[Blank stares and silence as it goes from the Bank Clerk, to Stan, to the Bank Clerk, to Stan]
Stan Marsh: Uh... what?
Bank Clerk: It's gone, it's all gone.
Stan Marsh: What's all gone?
Bank Clerk: The money in your account. It didn't do too well, it's gone.
Stan Marsh: What do you mean? I-I have a hundred dollars!
Bank Clerk: Not any more, you don't.
[Gestures]
Bank Clerk: Poof!
Stan Marsh: Well what can I do to get back my...
Bank Clerk: [Interrupts] I'm sorry, sir, but this line is for bank members only.
Stan Marsh: I just opened an account!
Bank Clerk: Do you have any money invested with this bank?
Stan Marsh: No, you just lost it all!
Bank Clerk: Then please stand aside for people who actually have money with us. Next please!
Stan Marsh: [Getting pushed out of the way] Hey!
Bank Clerk: Hello Mrs. Farnickel. How are you, today? Making a deposit, are we? Greeeat. We can just put that into your retirement account and make it go to work for you aaaaand it's gone.
Mrs. Farnickel: Whaaat?
Bank Clerk: Sorry, yeah, it's gone. Please step aside for people who actually have money with the bank. Next please!
Stan Marsh: Dad!
Randy Marsh: Hey, I'm trying to teach my son the importance of savings. You already lost his money?
Bank Clerk: Oh, Mr. Marsh! D-d-don't worry. We can just transfer money from *your* account into a portfolio with your savings... AAAAAND IT'S GONE! This line's for people who have money with the bank, only, please step aside!
[Randy and Stan stare dumbfounded]