Glee (TV Series)

The Rhodes Not Taken (2009)

Kristin Chenoweth: April Rhodes

Photos 

Quotes 

• Will Schuester : Guys, I'd like to introduce you to someone very special. This is April Rhodes. She's our newest member.

  Finn Hudson : Wait, so old people can join Glee Club now?

  April Rhodes : Old, huh? You guys look like the world's worst Benetton ad.

• April Rhodes : So, did I sleep with you?

  Will Schuester : [taken aback]  Um... I was a freshman when you were a senior.

  April Rhodes : ...So, did I sleep with you?

• April Rhodes : [to Rachel]  Do you have any NyQuil? I could use a pick-me-up.

• Will Schuester : Hey, can you give us the room, Rachel? We need to teach April the cues for "Don't Stop Believin'".

  Finn Hudson : Wait, she's singing the female lead?

  Rachel Berry : Wait, she's in the Glee Club? She's... ancient.

  April Rhodes : Talent doesn't age, sweetheart.

• April Rhodes : Stick *that* in your pipe and smoke it.

• April Rhodes : Can I get you a drink? I just cracked open a fresh box of wine.

• April Rhodes : These high school boys are a lot hotter than they used to be. That Finn Hudson is one cutie pie I gots my eye on.

  Rachel Berry : Finn's taken, April.

  April Rhodes : Yeah, well, some guys like a little somethin'-somethin' on the side.

  Rachel Berry : I think your behavior is totally inappropriate, and your presence in this school is a complete travesty. What you choose to do with your life is your own business, but don't go around screwing up everyone else's.

  April Rhodes : I'm not afraid of you, sweetie. There was a time when I was the biggest star around here. And now that I've got that back... I'm never letting it go.

• April Rhodes : If you can master this, you can sneak anything out of a store between your knees. Shoes, prom dresses. I once got a cake out of a kid's birthday party with the candle still lit.

• April Rhodes : I'm rolling on a fistful of horse tranquilizers, I can't feel my lips