American Dad! (TV Series)

Bar Mitzvah Hustle (2009)

Seth MacFarlane: Stan Smith, Roger the Alien

Quotes 

• Stan Smith : Francine, you know I only laugh at "Two and a Half Men." Charlie Sheen sleeps with whores, then has breakfast with a fat child. It's funny just talking about it.

• Roger : Hershel Hershbaum for the defense!

  [to Snot] 

  Roger : Don't you worry, kid. I'll win this for ya. We'll get your foreskin cut off, all right.

  Snot Lonstein : What?

• Roger : You hustling me, boy?

• Roger : I'll be Ernest Shlumpel, Etan's long-lost great uncle. When the Nazis annexed Alsace-Lorraine in 1940, Ernest fled to Mykonos where he invented a kosher lubricant that tastes like whitefish salad...

  Steve Smith : You're playing a waiter.

  Roger : But I've been developing my Alsace-Lorraine Mykonos accent.

  Steve Smith : You're not doing an accent.

  Roger : [gets up close to Steve menacingly]  Oh, yeah? You son of a bitch. You know I'm not a fighter.

• Roger : While everyone's focused on Snot, I'll be heading to the bathroom to share a doobie with the busboy in exchange for an angry handy jay.

• Steve Smith : [to Roger]  Now Snot may never get bar mitzvahed and it's my fault.

  Roger : All because you refused to do the heist my way.

  Steve Smith : How would you doing a goofy accent have changed anything?

  Roger : We'll never know now, will we?