Xavier: Renegade Angel (TV Series)

Damnesia Vu (2009)

Jim Tozzi: Various

Quotes 

• Barcode Man : [shooting a line of animal-headed people execution style]  Do you believe in God?

  Sheep : Yes.

  [gets shot; hummingbirds fly out of his head] 

  Barcode Man : Do you believe in God?

  Hummingbird : Yes.

  [gets shot; sheep jump out of his head] 

  Barcode Man : [points gun at Xavier]  Do you believe in God?

  Xavier : That's a complicated question. It depends on what you mean by "God". You see, I...

  Barcode Man : Yes or no?

  Xavier : It helps no one to be reductive. I believe that that we are here implies to some degree that there are forces larger than us. Now, we can get into the semanticalities...

  Barcode Man : *Yes* or *no*?

  Xavier : [smokes a pipe]  The very notion of belief itself can be rhetorically whittled to the bare nub of its meaning.

  [attempts to hand the man a pamphlet] 

  Xavier : I'd like to talk to you a lot more about this. Would you be interested in reading some of my literature?

  Barcode Man : NO!

  [Barcode Man shoots himself] 

  Xavier : [Xavier is returned to the room of doors in Barcode Man's clothing]  So, it was me all along!

• The Judge : You are not on trial for shooting the mayor. You are on trial for being on trial!

  Xavier : But I swear, I'm innocent!

  The Judge : By proclaiming your innocence, you admit that you are on trial!

• Starving Woman : This is how starving people cry.

  Xavier : A crying lady! I'll help you. I'm a feminist. I'll make sexism my bitch. Sexism will be all like, "Oh Xavier! You're so strong! Kissy kissy! You can hit me. I like it."

• The Judge : I sentence thee to three glimpses into your own soul!

  Xavier : Pfft, I could do that with my third eye tied behind my back.

  The Judge : Very well. *Seven* glimpses!

  Xavier : Nooooooooooo!

• Xavier : I know what your butt did to that boy!

• Xavier : This must mean I've saved a life. I'm some sort of life-savior? Wonder where's my reward.

• Xavier : [enters a realm where the world unfolds in reverse, sees a man hit by a car]  I'm too late. If I had been at this poor meat in time, he'd still be a delicious man.

• Xavier : In this odd dominion, driving backwards over people can mend them!

  [gets in a car and drives backwards down the street] 

  Xavier : People, hurry, get *in* the way! I'm committing vehicular manburger helper, and it tastes like pure liquid relief. Best part is, I'm helping the earth, getting negative thirty miles to the gallon! Oh, the cops wanna hone in on my heal-deal. I'll let them co-bask in my reflective glory!

• Woman's Voice : Congratulations. You may now begin to play the game...

  Xavier : Of life...

  ["life" echoes] 

• Xavier : If these be my last words, then I'd like to leave this world with one final thought: Me no wanna die, mommy! Waaahhh!

• Xavier : Please get my mommy, so I can tell on you!

• Xavier : [after he angers the Aztec sun god]  You people have angered the Gods! Why?

• Xavier : What *is* this place and who *am* I? I don't remember my name. All I remember is that I don't know my name, and that I can't remember if I do know my, uh, um.

• Xavier : I have the strange feeling that I've forgotten all of this before.

• Xavier : [Walking back into the room he just walked out of]  Smells like a real creep been in this room.

• Xavier : God has put me through his reamer, but I've come out the other side with his calling

  ["calling" echoes] 

  Xavier : in my ear!